My married life was a dizzying existence of amazing joy and horrible anguish, sometimes in the space of the same day.

While I was married, I loved Yuri Hinson more than anything, more than myself. That was probably not a great idea.

In any case, that life is over, it has been utterly and irrevocably destroyed and (as of this writing, October 2003), I am still building a new life outside of the glowing, smoking blast zone of that devastation. A large part of my recovery involves writing, as writing has almost always been a central part of my life.

Here you'll find these essays, a loopy kind of chronicle of life after divorce. It's been really helpful for me to be able to write this stuff down, so maybe you'll get something out of it as well ...

• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part One)
  (5/10/03, From a Limited Series. In "The Wake-Up Call," everything changes with just one detail)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Two)
  (5/11/03, From a Limited Series. In "Dog," Finding communion with an abandoned canine)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Three)
  (5/12/03, From a Limited Series. In "The Other Side of the Coin," we are still innocent)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Four)
  (5/13/03, From a Limited Series. In "Memories Don't Live Like People Do," being haunted)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Five)
  (5/13/03, From a Limited Series. In "The King of Wishful Thinking," read the small print)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Six)
  (5/13/03, From a Limited Series. In "For Better or Worse," paying the real costs of divorce)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Seven)
  (5/13/03, From a Limited Series. "Lingering Like A War Crime" lists the wrongs done)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Eight)
  (5/13/03, From a Limited Series. In "Invisible Sun," Hannibal gets angry)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Nine)
  (5/19/03, From a Limited Series. In "Plus le Meme Chose," see how people don't really change)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Ten)
  (5/19/03, From a Limited Series. In "Kissing a Fool," Hannibal realizes how long he's been wrong)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Eleven)
  (5/19/03, From a Limited Series. In "Tender Is The Night," Weird dreams plague our young hero)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Twelve)
  (5/19/03, From a Limited Series. In "Fallen," Sharon Shinn delivers revelations and paperwork)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Thirteen)
  (5/19/03, From a Limited Series. "My Favorite Mistake" discusses waiting too long)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Fifteen)
  (5/26/03, From a Limited Series. In "That I Would Be Good," two snowflakes start an avalanche)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Sixteen)
  (6/5/03, From a Limited Series. In "Ate atque Vale," Bidding hail and farewell from a better place)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Seventeen)
  (6/9/03, From a Limited Series. In "This Vicious Cabaret," The adjective "giddy" can be applied)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Eighteen)
  (6/27/03, From a Limited Series. In "Parting Clouds," moving closer to my dreams)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Nineteen)
  (8/10/03, From a Limited Series. In "Better Feast Than Famine," "C" is for "cookie," dammit)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Twenty)
  (9/17/03, From a Limited Series. In "Inside Out," the waiting is the hardest part)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Twenty-One)
  (10/1/03, From a Limited Series. In "Separate Ways," the door quietly slides shut)
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Twenty-Two)
  (10/16/03, From a Limited Series. All about shrimp dip in "The Desperate Burden of Freedom")
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Twenty-Three)
  (11/4/03, From a Limited Series. It's almost unbelievable what Hannibal hears in "Unmasked")
• Personal: Dancing in the Dark (Part Twenty-Four, the final installment)
  (1/4/04, From a Limited Series. For once and for all, "The Long Kiss Goodnight")