2003 has been a year of great transition and upheaval for me. "Plus le change, plus le meme chose," though -- although I have a new address, a new apartment, new friends, new relationships, new plans and even a new job, I'm still the same Uncle Hannibal to a phalanx of nieces (and one nephew), I'm still the same brother, I'm still the same jack@$$, I'm still writing.

That said, I'm still making my Kwanzaa mix CDs. If you feel you should have gotten one and didn't, feel free to holler at me, I'll see what I can do. This works as liner notes, so enjoy the thoughts behind the music.

OPENING MOVES (Always good to start off strong)

01) "The Mouth Ritual" by Dark Sun Riders
Brother J, Misunderstood Visionary. This song opened the last album I was able to get out of this guy, a powerful but flawed work of great ambition and talent. I use this to open the way.

02) "Astronaut Jones Theme" by Tracey Morgan
Back when Imani Tolliver and I were practically pals, this song was like our theme, and whenever a conversation got weird or hit a lull, we'd start singing it, cracking up. I was looking for that rocket at the start of the year, and wasn't really ready when it took off.

DOWNBEAT (from the part of the year I spent under a horrible cloud)

03) "Rise & Fall" by Craig David featuring Sting
When you have everything you've been told you should have, do everything the right way, and it still goes wrong. Yeah. Plus, how hypnotic is that chorus? I've said it before -- Craig David is gonna grow up and be somebody, one day.

04) "Comin' From Where I'm From" by Anthony Hamilton
Hard lines from hard times. Plus, this is one of the most amazing talents of 2003, so I kind of had to fit him on here.

05) "December" by Collective Soul
Double entendre time -- it's (of course) December, and the two clearest lines "why drink the water from my hand, contagious as you think I am?" and "why follow me to higher ground, lost as you swear I am?" really did something for me pre-April (so I don't keep talking around it, I got divorced April 23rd, the day of my brother Denzil's wedding. Funny, that ...).

06) "Any Way The Wind Blows" by The UMCs
Another double entendre. I also stole the line "hurricane of rhymes" for a poem from here. Well, "sampled." Anyhoo, this is a classical hip hop song (gotta rep for hip hop), and symbolizes that I was -- intellectually -- ready for any eventuality.

07) "Kissing a Fool" by George Michael
I sang this song a lot this year, as I was really feeling what it was saying. I felt a fool for putting myself in a bad situation, helping create it. I felt bad things were ending. I felt bad, and this song made me sound cool and rock the fedora while I did so. So here it is.

08) "When I'm Gone" by 3 Doors Down
Part of my new anthem -- "there's another world inside of me that you may never see." It's somehow difficult for people to confront me when I'm talking out of the side of my neck, and this song calls for that -- "right me when I'm wrong." Plus it rocks. I won 8th place in the 2003 Hollywood Karaoke Contest with this song, netting me some cash and a job. Cool.

09) "Epiphany" by Staind
I was standing in line at JC Penney's with two mock turtlenecks, listening to my iPod. It was the day after Thankstaking, and I hadn't slept for reasons unflattering to me and ultimately unimportant. This song popped up. I replayed it at least five times that day. "It's always raining in my head." Yeah.

10) "That I Would Be Good" by Alanis Morrisette
The real epiphany is that at the end of the day, I am a survivor, I am a conqueror, and I stomp problems into mush. Regardless of circumstance, "that I would be good." Yeah.

TRANSITION (making a decision and sticking to it)

11) "A Long December" by Counting Crows
This song kind of reflects me at a midpoint -- looking back with regret and looking forward with enthusiasm. "It's been so long since I've seen the ocean ... I guess I should." When I sing it at karaoke, I sing, "It's been one more day out in the Jungle," because ... well, that's where I live.

UPBEAT (remembering I am beautiful, I am interesting, and I can be happy)

12) "Take Off Your Cool" by Andre 3000 from Outkast and Norah Jones
I was in traffic, stuck bumper to bumper on La Cienega near Adams, when the iPod churned this one up. An amazing collaboration between two amazing artists. I've said elsewhere that Outkast is poised to rule the world, and this is one reason why. I had to get an Outkast song on this CD, and this seemed appropriate for the season, especially with me making up my own words. "Macintosh laptops and fast CD burners/ MP3 players and jokes with Ike Turner/ teflon and napalm and homicide scenes/ these are a few of my favorite things ..." I know Inpu is frowning, but "sometimes the old ways are best."

13) "M'Toto" by Zap Mama
Another double entendre -- since Nau-T coined me "the zap dad," I've come to adore this zany sound. Saw them in concert at the Palace with McGowan, and they were amazing. Plus they use an old riff for a new flavor, which I like a lot. Okay. I'll admit I don't understand almost any of what they're ever singing, as a lot of it is in accented ... French? I dunno. Anyway, I still like it.

14) "A Little Deeper" by Ms. Dynamite
I first saw Ms. Dynamite on SNL, one of the few Saturdays I was home, and I thought she was all right. I stumbled on some "evaluation copies" of her songs, and she had a lot of range. I somehow ended up buying the album (take that, Hillary Rosen, you beyotch) and found she's a real talent with some great songs. This song reminded me that joy is within, validation is within, power is within.

15) "Lovesjoy" by Jason Luckett
"I love my life, I'm a free man." Can anything more sum up my state of mind? I explain elsewhere why Jason is the Bizarro Hannibal, but he really captured my energy right now, and he wrote this song forever ago.

16) "Milkshake" by Kelis
This song is pure audio fun. Simple as that.

17) "Secret" by Maroon 5
Yes, I have secrets. No, I probably won't tell you. I won't lie, but I'll omit and obfuscate if it serves the greater good. "I know I don't know you, but I want you so bad ..." Yep, this song makes me happy. Plus, Maroon 5 rocks, and I wanted to jam them on here as well.

18) "Saturday Love" by Cherelle and Alexander O'Neal
Everybody needs a Saturday Love, a thought they can look forward to on dreary working Tuesday afternoons. Oh, and Alexander O'Neal rocks, doing what I call "man singing," so getting that on here is a plus as well.

19) "This Year" by Chantal Kreviazuk
Looking forward. Gaining my power. Bouncy, pleased, ambitious.

20) "Get Yourself Up" by KRS-ONE
The first time I heard this was on Smackdown, and it's ... just an amazing song. KRS may have lost a step, but he's still a real powerhouse. This song reminds me to stay motivated and to ...

KEEP IT MOVIN' (you ain't gotta go home, et cetera, et cetera ...)

21) "CEOutro" by Russell Simmons
Simple closeout, no big hurrah. KRS is enough of a "big finish."

Missing something? Can't figure something out? Ask, and thou shalt receive.