Black Panther #4:
Bat-roc fever! It's drivin' me cra-zy ... Everybody's least favorite Frenchman makes yet another appearance (I swear, this guy's in almost more books than Wolverine this month) as a much-reformatted Ulysses Klaw forms an international army of ne'er-do-wells to take on Wakanda, doing an embarrassingly good job in the early going. There's been some discussion, online and in my comics shop, about how "in continuity" this is, but when the recap page calls Batroc "a legendary martial artist" (I think Squirrel Girl kicked his behind once) and has an apparently Russian Radioactive Man (and Google was no help in telling me who this "Igor" is, or why he's running around with Professor Chen Lu's shtick), I just threw up my hands, closed my eyes, clicked my heels together and said, "there's no place like Elseworlds." I don't really know about the scientific grounding of things here (the vibranium mound shaking?), nor do I know where the sibling rivalry shtick is going with "Shuri" (and I'm not sure I like the idea of a sibling, especially with T'Challa being so dismissive and obvlivious where she's concerned, with shades of Thor and Loki there) ... and it doesn't bother me yet but I can see it starting to nag at the "WTF" centers of my brain. I like this new "crusader" styled Black Knight, I like the general characterization of T'Challa (after a long time, I did start to think Priest's T'Challa was a sucker, and his "abdication" of the throne felt like vindication for me), but this is surely not the same Wakanda that mistakenly launched a nuclear missile at the Hulk as he flew towards them. Why? Well, if their fighter planes can't see a flying horse coming at them on their own radar, well, they're just not very freaking useful at all. After making Wakanda seem really impressive, Hudlin spends a lot of time making them seem really dumb, and I find that disappointing.

JLA Classified #7:
I never expected an ending that's both predictable and cliched to be so effective. There's guffaws and gags and goofiness aplenty, but Guy and Bea have an emotional close to this issue that really works, made more powerful by Maguire's evocative artwork. The best issue of the series so far, and a great way to twist some old myths.

Seven Soldiers: Manhattan Guardian #2:
Better than the first, so a mild jump from the Read Pile. There's a lot of fun here, and most of it involves incoherent pirate yelling. "I'm peaking on the drugs and there's a gaggle of well-dressed sun lubbers i'm makin' walk the plank for light entertainment!" "Who among you can write down me wondrous prophecies and visions now?" Just mad run, but all carefully contained in a very crisp story (and I love Cameron Stewart's plainspoken artwork). A great and kinetic close to a wholly ridiculous yet wholly fun story, and this is just half the mini series! Excellent!

Ex Machina #11:
Something gave Hizzoner a mad on at the prestidigitation community, and he's ready to sic New York's Finest on 'em to grease the wheels for greater tourism dollars. This issue -- a "done-in-one" felt a little incomplete, but hit all the high points for people already on board. No seriousl complaints, but given the unresolved bit with the reporter from last issue, and that weirdness with his old government handler's wife, I'd have liked a little more meat on this story.

Green Lantern Secret Files & Origins 2005:
They'd have done just as well calling this "Retcon Follies" and saving me some time. First of all, ignore a lot of what you know about Guy Gardner and Kilowog, because all of a sudden it's different because some jackass read a Star Wars book talking about different lightsaber styles. The actual stories here -- including a Geoff Johns/Darwyn Cooke one that barely manages to overcome the sheer stupidity of Hal Jordan even being on panel with a "keep it simple" approach also compounds the biggest problem around GLs (and pardon the spoiler if you haven't been reading). According to this, Hal didn't go nuts, he was possessed by the legendary "yellow impurity" in the power battery, which is the embodiment of fear (like Eclipso is the embodiment of vengeance) calling itself Parallax. So, to beat it, the GLs trapped it back in the power battery. The same one it escaped, and killed most of them. Somehow it's bonded with SInestro too, but only sometimes. Anyway, that's crazy talk, and it turns the power battery (on a reformed Oa, which I swore was blown up) into a cosmic Arkham Asylum, with as story-serving a revolving door. Argh, this made me angry.

The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Teams 2005:
Not making me as angry, but just as much a factor of my insane need to buy every bit of sheer reference material released (so I can be right in any argument I come across, sad, I know), you can get a short-and-sweet summary of the why and wherefores of virtually all of Marvel's teams, including goofy choices like Big Hero 6, The Champions of Xandar (who?) and even Power Pack. It's great to read the blow-by-blow stories and save yourself a lot of drama looking through back issues. I'm very happt with this purchase, a steal at a mere four bucks.

Four Letter Worlds:
Wow. I liked the Flight anthology as a bit of sheer whimsy and wonder, but this ... it's a real tour de force. From Jim Mahfood's comical musings to the stylish poignancy of Chynna Clugston-Major to Robert Kirkman's brisk and in-your-face storytelling to the intelligent and fascinating talking heads from the book's editor/mastermind (and my friend of many years) Eric Stephenson, this is a really good book. I've read it four times since buying it last Wednesday. I'll be reading it again. It's a total conversation starter, a fascinating coffee-table work of great complexity and intelligence, with crisp design and high production values. Worth way more than the thirteen bucks I paid for it.

Buy Pile Breakdown: Urf ... I've had better weeks, even with the TPB, and the GL book makes me actively angry.

Then there's the stuff on the "read pile" that I don't bring home ...

Authority Revolution #8:
The real threat behind everything comes to light, and it's so retrograde and Doselle Young-ed that it made me sad. I mean, the Authority killed "God," took down the faux Avengers, and destroyed a death cult filled with Superboys. This guy they have problems with? It's embarrassing, and I think Brubaker is better than this.

Young Avengers #4:
It's Kang-tastic! Cap makes a hard choice as the issue does some really smart teen bonding and shows our Young Avengers to be pretty darned smart. Not smart enough, but whadda ya gonna do? Interesting stuff, but missing the mark for being buyable by about an arm's length.

Birds of Prey #82:
I really like the way Ted Grant and Dinah Lance chemistry works here, as old friends with a really reliable relationship. Oracle, on the other hand, has not dealt with how much "War Games" threw her off her game, or when Booster called in a Countdown moment, she'd have been better equipped to deal with it. The part that interested me most -- Huntress "going native" with Creote and Savant -- got short shrift, and that saddened me a little. But I always like the morally ambiguous parts more.

Thunderbolts #8:
Batroc Strikes Back! With "Batroc's Brigade" (how desperate do you have to be to work for a guy who calls himself "Ze Leap-air!" on purpose?) and some disturbing details (having the Shocker, who's less terrified and wussy than the last time I saw him, singing Kelly Clarkson? Scary ...) this issue is all over the map. Again, the most interesting part -- Speed Demon deciding he's fast enough to be a super villain and a super hero -- got little panel time, but was absolutely vital to the moral murkiness at the center of Abner Jenkins doing a not-so-great job as "team leader."

Superman #217:
There's a great bit on Suspension of Disbelief about how stupidly Superman's hearing has been portrayed recently, and this issue further exacerbates that problem. I don't know when Supes' Arctic Fortress of Solitude caught the hammer, but building one in an inhabited part of South America kind of wonks out the whole "Solitude" part, doesn't it? Add to that an Omac simulacra attacking for what appeared (to me anyway) no reason whatsoever, and just as quickly disappearing ... I get the feeling I should stop reading most DC comics until the winter, and things settle down ...

Cable/Deadpool #15:
Precious little Cable here, as Deadpool cracks wise and tries to figure out what his problem is. This leads to a Sliders/Exiles style chase through dimensions, dealing with alternate Cables (didn't they do this with the last few issues of X-Man?) including a sillier revisiting of the Age of Apocalypse. Shocker that I left this one at the store, huh? (NOTE: That was sarcasm, children)

Villains United #1:
LATE REVIEW. Missed it when it came out, read it and almost bought it (and in light of some of the stuff I did buy, maybe I made a mistake). All build up, but I liked the mean-ness of it.

Wolverine #28:
This may have been the best read of the week, give Millar using a lot of the over-the-top bombasticity that made The Authority fun, back before the life got sucked out of it. Northstar, now an undead zombie superspeed serial killer in the service of super terrorists, actually makes a passable Bond-style villain, monologuing with the best of 'em and putting Logan through some serious paces. Wolvie's surprise was even more over-the-top, which was hilarious, and doesn't break anything that can't stay broken. Damn. I should have bought this issue.

Read Pile Roundup: If Wolverine is the best book of the batch, and I left it and the other good read (Villains United), I must be smoking some bad stuff ...

So, How Was It This Week? It was like Bizarro week, with favorites phoning it in and surprises galore. Too weird to call ... had my dawg Eric Stephenson not done the damned thing (and I know it's been out, I just hadn't gotten it), the whole week woulda gone under the tires.

The Buy Pile is a weekly collection of comic reviews done by Hannibal Tabu (www.operative.net)