Plantary #21:
Mmm. I'm surprised to say I'm disappointed here. I mean, Planetary issues are almost like Haley's Comet -- rare and fascinating. So to blow an entire one on what amounts to a psychic visit for Elijah Snow ... yeah, disappointed. Is it pretty? Duh, John Cassaday showed up. Is it kind of interesting? Yeah -- it reads like a segment of Warren Ellis' Die Puny Humans site. Given that one of the main antagonists has been shipped into space forever, and his three antagonistic companions can't be happy about that, this surely seemed like an issue running in place. I hate it when that happens.

Wonder Woman #209:
Ack. I gotta say, Drew Johnson and Ray Snyder are much better at depicting tense interpersonal scenes (like this issue's opener between Athena and Ares) than fight scenes (like, why/how is Medousa's back to Diana in almost every panel)? NOt a bad issue, and one that's very vital to the overall storyline. But as an individual issue? Eh ...

Buy Pile Breakdown: Cheap but unrewarding. Like a date with a less-than-attractive but easy girl.

Then there's the stuff on the "read pile" that I don't bring home ...

We3 #2:
All my retailer Steve LeClaire would say when I came into the store today is "Tinker." This issue is a fierce, kinetic experience that shows that Morrison's intensive research into animal behavior paid off. I feel like I'm viewing the experience of an animal consciousness here. The issue is a visual and visceral treat, but somehow I still have yet to be "caught" by it.

Doctor Spectrum #2:
More psychological pondering, and really, no new ground is covered. Colonel Joe Ledger (or whatever his name is) had a rough life and made some rough choices, okay, blah blah blah. More running in place.

Adam Strange #2:
Space-flavored swashbuckling, even though Diggle's confrontation seemed strangely like something I'd seen in a non-descript sci-fi movie ... anyhoo, fun and worth watching, but not a crucial read (or purchase) just yet.

Ultimate Elektra #3:
More fast paced action as Ultimate Elektra (not as smart or as cunning as her MU counterpart) still plays hurt little girl as the Natchios family is drawn deeper and deeper into crime and New York's murky underground. A certain red-clad blind law student makes his presence felt, and chats up our nascent ninja at the end (she's not really a ninja in the Ultimate version, she ... oh, never mind), and while I enjoy the grimness and mob-tinted tone, it still felt awfully WB.

Authority: Revolution #1:
Still taking themselves too seriously, the Authority whine about the same conflict posited in Mark Waid and Barry Kitson's Empire -- what do you do after you take over the world. It is somehow not surprising how many people fail to plan for what happens after the last bit of violence is settled. That said, seeing Midnighter whine is not too good, and the last-page curveball seems like a desperate way to try and get out of this hole they've written themselves into, like that crappy ending on the "Transference" episode of Smallville.

Black Widow #2:
Jason Bourne called, he wants his identity back. The pacing is very fast here, and the storytelling snarky, mean and sexy like a good episode of Alias. The Widow makes some logical explanations on some of her costume changes and shows a secret side of the end of the Cold War. Interesting stuff, but certainly not vital.

Birds of Prey #75:
One for the road, as the Birds take on a new regular member, find a new headquarters (thanks "War Games," you shmuck ... more on that in a bit) and sing several choruses of "Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves." Great to see Ed Benes back at work, though, and I really enjoyed the Lady Blackhawk backup story, which showed a fun slant on the "popped up from WWII in the modern world" shtick.

Daredevil #66:
In a tasty bit of prequel-styled storytelling, it seems that Matt Murdock represented a pre-Wilson Fisk Kingpin, and then tormented his criminal enterprises as Daredevil. Now, there's newspapers in prison, and this guy just got paroled. Ask me how happy he is. Go on. This issue has a great "old school criminal" feel, but really goes a long way to shoehorns a lot of backstory into existing Daredevil history when you consider it objectively.

Catwoman #36:
There's about seven pages of the real Catwoman comic in here, mixed amidst the "War Games" hoo-hah. I've come to believe that the entire "War Games," and to an extent "Tower of Babel" before it, have happened for two reasons: to show that Batman is secretly stupid/out of control of his psychosis and to prove, once and for all, that you should buy a Mac, because any other computer looks just too damned easy to hack into. It's like the Batcave has a "come in, jackasses" sign hanging outside. Anyhoo, Black Mask shows up saying that Oracle's Watchtower is the Bat-cave (she really should have looked into better real estate a long time ago, not to mention not "living" at work as she does), but the Cat does a number on feared assassin Zeiss which was pretty cool (and better than the fight scene in Wonder Woman this week).

Elektra: The Hand #3:
Again, there is absolutely no Elektra in this issue, anywhere. More prequel madness about the Hand's origins in feudal Japan, with forbidden ninja romance and internecine ninja politics. Really. Yeah, that's exactly why I'm not buying this mini, it reads like a soap opera mixed with an encyclopaedia entry.

Flash #215:
If you're reading Identity Crisis you'll think this issue is cool, as it could almost serve as a backup feature in an issue of that best-selling mini. If you're not and just want a Flash story, well, you're screwed as here Barry Allen's morality is dragged into murky territory not normally seen in the Silver Age. Zatanna is dragged back in to fix some of the madness she did in the good ol' days, and it's ... well, I just don't find it entertaining.

G.I. Joe #35:
Now, for entertainment and good fight scenes, all you have to do is look for the masked man. This issue doesn't quite have the serious tone of its Reloaded imprint-mate (especially when a goofy bastard named "Scalpel" walks out with blades strapped to his chest, for the love of Marcus Welby), and it does have a smidgeon of soap (somebody's pregnant), but the Wraith/Snake-eyes fight (which makes great reading if you've been building up with the Wraith back up features) is a good action bit, and with Cobra blowing up an entire Colorado town (hell yeah) putting the Joes on the defensive, it's interesting reading if not balanced enough to make a purchase.

Green Lantern: Rebirth #1:
Again in the words of the store's retail monkey Adam, "this makes me sick to my ass." First of all, Guy Gardner is alive, not because he was saved from hell in another comic (as three people insisted) but because his "Vuldarian genes" pulled him back from the brink of death. That's crap. Second, his whole appearance here is so cursory and unimportant, why bother devising that cockamamie excuse of a resurrection anyway? Not to mention the powers of the Spectre have varied wildly all over the map, the actual "story" (if you can call it that) is a jumbled, vague mess and the whole issue lacks gravitas since we know it all means "Hal back in a ring and a uniform" at the end of the day. Big whoop.

Silver Surfer #14:
I'm surprised this series made it this far. The whole crisis was kind of wished away in a haze of Willy Wonka chocolates or something. I considered this issue wildly disappointing, and given I expected nothing, that's quite a long way from "good."

JLA #107:
Very slow set up yields some great character detail between J'onn and Wally, doing "maintenance" on the JLA's facilities. However, considering that the characters mentioned on the cover don't show up until the last page ... not really a barn-burner, I'd say.

Mystique #20:
Who's Steinbeck? I get the feeling I missed something during this series' earlier issues, butthe beating and wit are not as quick and interesting as I'd like, there's some vague stuff happening I'm not too sure about, and if Mystique's not gonna be fascinating (she's rather dull here), I can't be bothered to care.

Outsiders #17:
Remember a while back when a new drug popped up in Daredevil that temporarily gave people super powers? Well, somebody at DC must have thought that idea was pretty nifty, because now the Outsiders are fighting that as well. Okay, sure, their newfound struggle against child slavery and endangerment has a real After School Special feel to it, especially bringing John Walsh into this (he's so six years ago), and with the new artist uglying things up, this wasn't good at all.

Excalibur #6:
I give up. Chris Claremont wins. I just can't keep reading stuff like this. It's gonna have a negative effect on me, I'm sure, burning out neurons that could have been useful someday. With the "surprise" guest star at the end (who I have no idea how he's still not been choked to death), Callisto flopping around with paralyzed tentacle arms, the still-stupid tech-prohibition on Genosha ... ack. Chris Claremont is this year's Bill Jemas or Frank Tieri. Awful beyond imagining.

Richard Dragon #6:
Great fight scenes, but so?

X-Men #163:
In one scene, Rogue is shown to have "borrowed" Wolverine's powers. She then sprouts three shiny blades from her hand. Given that Logan's only power, really, is not dying, I assume they're Lee Press-on Adamantium. That was the most egregious sign of how bad this issue was. The fact that Black Tom's new Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, even with their dull-witted helper, just walked right up to the mansion and started smacking people around ... well, it's embarrassing. The kind of thing where you'd have to say to yourself, "Good lord, we're stupid. We should just all hang up the spandex and go work at Wal-mart or something." Bah.

Superman #210:
Continuing the "let's make Batman dumb" wagon train, here Supes confronts the Bat and Bruce swings at him. Like a drunk in a bar, or something. It's so out of character, I had to make sure I wasn't reading an Elseworlds book. Then, to whit, Supes threatens Bats in response? Come on, dawg. That ain't right. I'm sure the McGuffin behind all of this posturing and sending in Wonder Woman to fight Supes was well intentioned, but I haven't been made to care in any way, as Azz' strengths lie in plot, not character. He was right -- if this issue is indicative of what he does with "super heroes," he never should have gotten into the main DCU sandbox at all.

Wolverine #21:
Wolverine smash! Hydra has driven Logan nuts (wasn't too far, no need to stop for gas) and he's now dead set on whacking super heroes. So everybody goes all "condition orange" and hides, but that won't help as Wolvie's elusive and cunning. I think it was a cute touch to turn Wolvie on the cape community, but I am loath to see the "woops, my bad" ending that inevitably must come (the curse of corporate characters).

Losers #17:
The 285th Rule of Acquisition states, "no good deed ever goes unpunished." The Losers, in this prequel to their current woes, learn that the hard way when being "handled" by a CIA wonk called "Max." This takes place before the start of the series, so you can see how the crack military team ended up all Italian Job.

Read Pile Roundup: It was like getting repeatedly punched in the face. By Bea Arthur.

So, How Was It This Week? I am glad I was already in a good mood, because this batch of books was nothing encouraging.

The Buy Pile is a weekly collection of comic reviews done by Hannibal Tabu (www.operative.net), originally published at UGO.com.