DC: The New Frontier #6:
Several months ago, my retailer Steve recommended that I buy Superman: Secret Identity,talking about the project in terms like "inspirational." If there's anything I'm in dangerously short supply of, it's reading material that can inspire me -- the last "lump in my throat" moment I remember having at reading a comic book was before the ship went down in Grant Morrison's Marvel Boy, and Secret identity pulled its punches too much to be more than saccharine. So I've been reading the faux nostalgic goodness of this series with some interest, considering it good as it grappled with the sixties with the hindsight of today, but nothing special. All that changed today.

This sixth issue kicked into sixth gear and never let you see anything but tail lights. I mean, it took off. Wow. I don't need to bore you with details about Cooke's artwork (which may never find another place to be this apropos), and the sheer craftsmanship on this issue is at the high level you would expect, given the last five. But in the story -- a fairly straight forward tale of alien invasion and the fate of humanity hanging by a blah blah blah -- Darwyn Cooke, with a sure hand and an unfailing sense of pacing, gives you some real emotional monents (Lois Lane hurling a microphone away, unable to accept the possibility of losing Supes), a splash of the real heaviness of the era (Black cooks in King Faraday's secret camp, a Kennedy predidential rally, the future Steel reading comics at the grave of "John Henry," Wonder Woman sitting under a tree and reading to a Benneton group of children, and I even glazed over the phalanx of white faces heading off to save the world, probably happy to be at home on that one) as well as some really wonderful superhero moments (Martian Manhunter's rage at losing a friend, another great run by the Flash, Aquaman's arrival) and a simulated newspaper cover that'll make your freakin' heart swell (if you're in the right place in your life for that to happen). The best thing about this issue, and it as a capstone for the (now completed) mini series is how well it recaptures the sense of wonder and glory that used to come with a set of funny underwear, like an utility belt of dreams. One of the finest single issues of the entire year, I'd have to say.

Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Daredevil 2004:
I literally gasped aloud when I saw this on the shelf. The "Secret Files & Origins" format at DC must be doing better than I thought, because this is an honest-to-goodness full-fledged authoritative breakdown of all things in Matt Murdock's world, with the most helpful scale to explain the "power ratings" ever, posted inside the back cover. Ready for almost every detail of the Black Widow's life? No problem. Three pages on Elektra? Got that right here. Even Jessica Jones finally has an OHOTMU entry to be proud of. This wildly detailed issue suffers only from less-than-definitive art in some places (it looks like David Mack drew Ben Urich with a bucket, and Tim Sale's Foggy Nelson looks like he escaped from a Li'l Abner strip, although I do like the new hairdo on Alex Maleev's Typhoid, and how cool was it seeing the Romita and Miller art in there?), but is otherwise a damned fine, wildly referential work in a nice coverstock for a mere four bucks. Hot damn!

Wonder Woman #208:
Greg Rucka is in fine form this issue, and the Drew Johnson/Ray Snyder art team are likewise firing on all cyllinders (although I did think the title splash page lacked detail). The first part of the issue is all tension, built up lo these many months that explodes in a fit of Amazon-on-Gorgon swordplay. Medousa has ramped herself up into being a major threat, literally walking up to the White House and "stoning" everyone in her path. This is very entertaining stuff, still maintaining Rucka's highly intellectual slant (the negotiations with the new US president about Themyscria's newfound location) while letting Diana bring the "biff" and the "pow." A great issue, and the first of a slew of action-packed ones if Rucka's online interviews are to be believed.

Buy Pile Breakdown: Despite New Frontier being seven freaking bucks, I don't regret a single penny I spent this week, and that's a beautiful thing.

Then there's the stuff on the "read pile" that I don't bring home ...

Catwoman: When in Rome #1:
A whimsical and fun romp with Selina Kyle (despite some deaths) doing her whimsical, fun cat burglar shtick while having pugilist foreplay with the Bat. Nothing wrong with it, and a sure confectionary treat for fans of the character or the Loeb/Sale method of storytelling.

Doctor Spectrum #2:
The Doctor is in, and his prognosis is severely unpleasant. The crystal continues its guided tour of its host's brain, while the Feds dream up ways to cut it off of him if worse comes to worst. Seems the crystal's connection with Superman strand-in Hyperion is more than circumstantial, and it would like the good Doctor to operate in its stead. An interesting bit, showing the character's really vile and wilfully evil side (which I found rather relatable), which serves as a nice framing device for the main series, whenever those issues show up.

Batman #632:
The central conceit here -- that Batman is so distracted and/or stupid, that he can't tell a fake Orpheus from the real (apparently dead) one made me sad, especially with the normally brilliant Bill Willingham at the wheel. Black Mask (I almost know who he is ... no wait, I don't care) is trying to pull the cowl over the whole town's eyes and end up the head of organized crime with a line on the Bat as well. Okay, fine. But "Gansta" should probably be "gangsta" (argh, I hate typos) and this whole issue makes Bruce look a lot less focused or a lot more stupid than we've all believed. This crossover is falling down all over itself, it was better when it was up close and personal, not looking down from the Bat's admittedly cracked heights.

Marvel Knights: Black Panther #2099 #1:
Robert Kirkman's "fifth week" stunt in the 2099 universe seems to have taken its theme from another old Marvel property: during each issue, at least once, I uttered, "what the ...?" on every one. Starting in Latveria (andthere's no sign of Tyger Wylde or Link or any other Doom 2099 favorites, so I have no idea what happened there) a newly minted Doom (don't ask, doesn't matter) launches an invasion of a decadent and un-prepared Wakanda, sadly without its tribal chieftain as the bloodline that produced T'Chaka and T'Challa has come to an untimely end sometime before this issue started (I guess nobody else had the Killmonger-sized stones to take the tribal challenge for the gig). Got all that? Now, in the spirit of Kasper Cole, a non-royal takes up the ceremonial garb (and doesn't have to do all the "fight six of the toughest warriors" bit, but he also doesn't get the heart shaped herb) and leads the Wakandan people in a rebellion against a horde of invading Doombots (Doom at least thought to insure support at home by not sending any of Latveria's sons off to die). It all reads as a pretty straightforward adventure yarn, until the last two pages throws a confusing ending that (near as I could tell, and I read it three times) is not supported anywhere in the book by any kind of foreshadowing. Likewise, the stoic new Black Panther is a cipher, a character with no defining qualities nor discernable characteristics other than a pregnant wife. He could have been anybody, and that's a weakness. Admittedly, it's a one shot stunt, but in even other installments of the stunt it's done better than it is here. Plus, there's art inconsistencies (a necklace on Panther on one panel, gone a few panels later, back a few panels after that). A considerable failure.

G.I. Joe Reloaded #7:
Cobra comes this close to really accomplishing something dangerous, and it's fairly impressive as Reiber develops this somewhat laughable property into a real engine of thrills and suspense. I've criticized this series before for its lack of whimsy, but in going full-on Tom Clancy mode, while stripping both sides of their funnier aspects (Quick Kick never owning a pair of shoes, Raptor, Mindbender's 70s look, etc.) Reiber is (I now see, as it took this long for the vision to gel) reimagining the concept in light of Tim McVeigh and John Walker Lindh. We have met the enemy, as Pogo said, and he is us. Add to that a nifty snake motif and some disturbingly convincing rhetoric and you have a book that's -- starting with this issue -- reaching for loftier narrative places, with artwork that gets the job done. I should note that "jusify" should have probably been "justify," but allegedly copy editing is a lost art.

Hellblazer #200:
I like some of Mike Carey's work, and I haven't looked in on this title for a while, so I figured an issue #200 would be a good place to peek my head in. Nuh uh. First of all, it took almost two reads for me to figure out that most of the issue involves elaborate bad-dream sequences for Constantine. When the Wizard finally pulls back the curtain and reveals himself (well, herself, and it's a demon keen to hump the protagonist to bring about the end of the world through cunning children), I was still scrambling to keep up. Trying to do too much by a considerable margin and missing the mark. I'm not missing anything by not looking for this title, whereas the much more elegant Lucifer gives me my Carey fix pretty well.

Marvel Knights: Inhumans 2099 #1:
Kirkman mixes the Inhumans with a touch of classic Battlestar Galactica as the moon-based mutant population is coming back to the Sol system after a long exile. Black Bolt is napping happily away in hibernation, while all brands of trouble has brewed unbeknownst to his mute goofy self. This issue was kind of a one-trick pony, and I didn't really feel for it one way or another, because I already know precious little about the Inhumans and there was no room (or is it interest) in getting me invested in what happened here. Near as I can tell, the events here had no impact on the 2099 world at large, and events of no consequence are sometimes hard for me to care about. Oh, and my "what the" moment came near the end, and was suitably perplexing (Black Bolt's decision).

Invincible #16:
After a really stellar issue last month, this issue just kind of flies by, as the Guardians of the Globe change leaders, teen angst survives an alien invasion, and the whole issue felt like it took ten seconds to read. I am still interested in the Robot character, who had a weird pregnant pause when he got fired, but overall this issue was pretty forgettable.

Adam Strange #1:
Swashbuckling on a budget, Adam goes nuts when Rann's system goes supernova while he's stuck on Earth and he's left to muddle along with the rest of us. Of course, everything is not as it seems, and he ends up airborne with a blaster in each hand (as he should be) by the end of the issue. A fun yarn that's an interesting and decently paced start, which I'll consider "well worth watching."

Elektra: The Hand #2:
Warning! At no point in this issue doe Elektra actually appear! Just so you know. In much the same language of, say, the late lamented Crossgen title The Path, there's more Asian-themed prequel goodness as The Hand is founded by two former rivals and they set about returning the power of Imperial Japan to the people. Which, clearly, fell by the wayside somewhere along the road in favor of international terrorism and organized crime. But we're getting ahead of ourselves -- it's a decent kung-fu movie yarn, but lacks pep and talks more than it needs to.

Losers #16:
The spycraft remains murky and ideologically complicated as this prequel tale has the team's commander recounting a prequel story of how they got "killed" to their newest member. Interesting, good but not great.

Marvel Knights: Daredevil #2099 #1:
Back on the "what the?" train, Samuel Fisk carries on the legacy of his grandfather Wilson's "greatest enemy," as an armored Daredevil scouring the streets of future New York for what scant crime escapes the digital eyes of the Sentinel parked on every corner. Part Batman, part Iron Man, part just plain crazy, Fisk makes a zany decision at the end to embrace his heritage in a way that's almost predictable. Eh.

Captain Canuck #1:
I literally could not read more than four pages of this. Played one hundred percent seriously, this was shlocky super heroing at its worst. The main character says he has no overwhelming reason -- no slain partner, no ill event in his past -- and dresses up like a jackass pretty much "just because." Argh.

Daredevil #65:
In a kind of tribute issue, tons of artists show up to depict the new, zanier life of Matt Murdock ... with mixed results. For example, Greg Horn. He turns in one page, mostly in shadow of Peter and Matt, struggling with the new reality, that's really beautiful. Very splashy and static, but beautiful. Then, just a page or so later, there's an artistic boo-boo so grandiose that we found no fewer than five major problems with it. Horn's Peter Parker sits on a couch with MJ ... except the photo reference was screwy, and the MJ figure appears to be embracing something perhaps 3/4 Peter's width, with her hand curved around a place where Peter's stomach is flat (someone suggested she's jammed her hand through his rib cage ... eww). Likewise, the light sources are all over the place, and its clear that the two figures in the shot were from completely different sources, jammed together in a way that I could have done better in Photoshop (the solution -- a little more distortion, to stretch MJ until she fits Peter, or shrink him to fit MJ).

As for the content, I am reminded of a joke. There was a big flood, and a very devout Christian was trapped on his roof as the waters rose. A rowboat came along, and the guy in the rowboat offered to save the Christian. The Christian turned him down, and said, "the Lord will save me." Along comes a second boat, same shtick, as the waters continue to rise. Finally, as the waters surround the man's chest, a helicopter comes along, but the Christian waves it away, sticking to his "God will save me" guns. Of course the moron dies, and ends up in his spiritual path's heaven. He storms up to God and says, "I was faithful and good, blah blah blah, why didn't you save me?" God replies, "Look, dawg, I sent two boats and a helicopter, whadda ya want me to do?" I tell that old joke to say that it looks like Matt Murdock is doing the same. Everybody from Nick Fury to Steven Strange offers him a way out, clean, no blood no foul. He won't take it. In the words of Marcellus Wallace, I'm not sure if it's pride talking, but it sure seems dumb from my standpoint. Add to that that Wilson Fisk's predecessor, the prior Kingpin (who, no, is never mentioned in that Kingpin series that came out because there is no continuity, argh) is getting paroled, and Matt Murdock was his lawyer before he went away ... well, there's room for fun, you could say, even if this issue doesn't really land the knock out punch.

Green Lantern #181:
Lemme check, is this the single stupidest thing I read all week? Mmm ... yes, yes it is. Ron Marz, who handled Kyle Rayner a long time and should know how this ring works, does all kinds of dumb things here that just don't make any sense. There's one page in here that's actually pretty smart (I can't spoil it for you, but I don't think Major Force will be bothering anybody for a while), but literally everything else ignores who Kyle is as a character and literally shoves him off the table into the same limbo holding Brother Power the Geek, Booster Gold and Wild Dog. Argh.

Amazing Spider-Man #512:
The fact that this wasn't the single stupidest thing I read all week is not a good sign. JMS has a very talky issue, where the women Peter Parker loved basically have been lying to him since college and one even cheated on him (which makes a lot of kind of dumb things fall into place, but ow, what a way to go). It's entertaining for all the wrong reasons, and if you like horribly laughing at somebody else's misfortunes (I do) it's worth a read in the store, if only to see how Spidey's ife is even more convoluted than it's ever been, a four color version of Jerry Springer.

JLA #106:
The only good part about the Austen-penned "Pain of the Gods" storyline is that it's over. Batman's focus issue, of course, showed that he feels no pain -- he's a psychopath, of course. In this issue, I saw that there's been an attempt at telling a larger (if really boring) story behind all this whining, and in its best moments it shows the Bat being smarter than everybody else, which is always a plus. A wholly forgettable issue in a wholly forgettable storyline.

Silver Surfer #13:
Imagine, if you will, watching a low-budget production in the early days of the Sci-Fi Channel. Consider the shoddy production values, the hamfisted plot, the muddled visuals. Then imagine if you weren't in fact watching television at all, but reading a comic book. Yes, dear friends, you've now entered into ... the latest issue of Silver Surfer. This issue is almost as obtuse as the early issues in the run, just now I kind of know who people are (yet I still don't care).

Outsiders #16:
Arsenal and Nightwing get their best frat boy impersonation on here, as Black Lightning shoves Dick around some, Grace gets an endorsement deal, teamwork counts and this issue passes in a kind of dumbed down internecine haze. At least the Sivana/Fearsome Five issues had some chutzpah to 'em -- this is limp, phoned in. Blah.

Transformers Generation One #8:
Despite Sunstreaker and Sideswipe having a decent amount of panel time, I was able to dodge my normal fanboy knee jerk reactions and leave this one at the store (spending seven bucks on that New Frontier issue helped). Through some plot thread dropped so long ago I didn't even notice it, a brood of drone Insecticons has hatched ahead of schedule and is part of a larger Shockwave-detailed plan to invade Earth (guess they don't have tasty fruit filled pies on Cybertron, or something). I love the gruff, anti-social characterization they're doing with Sunstreaker (wish I'd have thought of it, it's a logical slant from the tech specs) and Sideswipe's easygoing laissez-faire 'tude, but a bunch was going on -- Bumblebee and the Witwicky guy, for example -- that I just couldn't bother to care about, and that, combined with Jazz's flirting (ewwww) was enough for me to leave even a Sunstreaker issue at the store.

Marvel Knights: Punisher #2099 #!:
Fittingly enough, closing out our "what the 2099?" reviews (I didn't read Mutant 2099 because it just didn't seem at all interesting), the daughter of Frank Castle and Elektra (man, that's zany) tries to school her less-than-bloodthirsty son in the family trade after she's diagnosed with ineoperable cancer. Imagine less interesting, more whiny segments of The Professional with the genders swapped and Leon replaced with a yellling, emotional, blood-coughing vigilante. That'd be about right. Gah, I'm glad it's over.

Richard Dragon #5:
Love the action sequences, found Dragon's baiting of Bronze Tiger to be kind of fun, even liked Shiva's flashbacks, but didn't feel it made a coherent whole. Shiva's lieutenants are also a bit too drab, in terms of design and coloring, and blend too well with their foot soldiers.

Gambit #2:
More going on in the BIg Easy than meets the eye, and the overarching plot is revealed (lackluster), banter is exchanged (predictable, lame) and ... oh who cares, let's just move on.

Superman #209:
The ending confused me, with Wonder Woman hugging the unnamed apparent cause of the issue's big problem, but Supes first swings at three angry elementals hell bent on exterminating humanity, but then comes up with something way smarter and kind of talks them out of it. That was a surprising use of Kal-El. Still, with the whole Wonder Woman hug thing, I don't really know what happened, and Supes still found time to whine to this priest (were the Kents Catholic? That doesn't seem right ...) about Lois like he was Norrin Radd whining about Shalla-bal.

X-Men #162:
I took the bullet for you, so look grafteful. In an issue where the best characterization goes to the Juggernaut, you know you're in trouble. Alex Summers is still playing little brother, leading an "also-ran" team of X-Men in what looks like an elaborate sting against a new Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. Here's where the Stupitron helmet must have been cranked up to "whoo boy," as Exodus (isn't he dead?) appears (as a subordinate to Black Tom, which is like Lex Luthor working for the Penguin), Avalanche gets a really stupid new costume, Black Tom is back looking like a character from A Nightmare Before Christmas (isn't he dead?), and the newest member of the BoEM is a character named -- I kid you not -- Mammomax. Say it a few times, it's fun. "Mammomax." Anyway, on the other side of the stupid field, in another throwaway explanation, it seems that Xorn's body was "taken over" by a "Magneto-like" presence and that his "twin brother" now chills in the holding cells beneath the basement, reacting to being treated as a threat with Phil Jackson-like calm. Plus, there's a really pointless death played for maudlin emotion, and this issue was a train wreck in every area but the art (great facial expessions on Cain).

Superman/Batman #12:
Wanna hear a funny story? Seems that this long-awaited issue of Superman/Batman (which around my shop is drawing comparisons to Planetary, Secret War, Danger Girl, Ultimates and Battle Chasers due to its tardiness) was apparently stopped at customs, and did not make it to the Los Angeles Diamond warehouse in time to hit shelves on Wednesday. The LA warehouse, according to my retailer Steve, services all the stores west of the Mississippi. So east coast readers have this issue ... and out here we don't. Ain't that a kick in the head? So I can't review it, because I was at least 1000 miles away from the nearest issue at press time. Them's the breaks.

Read Pile Roundup: Kirkman definitely had too much to do in this production cycle, as he spread his goodness too thin and it just couldn't cover all the bases. That alone made this week's reads an uphill battle, but with Green Lantern, X-Men, Superman, Captain Canuck (say it a few times, it's fun, "Captain Canuck! Captain Canuck!") and Amazing Spider-Man along for the ride, it was like jabbing myself in my eye with rolled up divorce papers. Yowza.

So, How Was It This Week? The sheer volume of Stupitron particles emitted from the Read Pile overwhelmed even a great week of purchases, sorry to say.

The Buy Pile is a weekly collection of comic reviews done by Hannibal Tabu (www.operative.net), originally published at UGO.com.