Wonder Woman #199:
The next issue blurb reads, "The answer to the question: when's she gonna hit something?" That's an unfair criticism, in my mind, as Greg Rucka remixes the Greek pantheon in modern attire (Athena with a laptop, Eros with blond dreads, et cetera) in a way I found simply charming. Why? In the words of Ares, "We must adapt to survive." Ares has an all-new game plan, starting with a redefinition of his job description, and it makes our favorite Themyscrian ... nervous. With good reason. Despite the cover's suggestive imagery, Diana and Ares don't get all S&M, and this is one entertaining issue from front to back (best bit of dialogue: ARES: (to Eros) "You do know that she's your great aunt, right?" EROS: "Like that's ever stopped anyone in this family from getting game!" Precious for its malaproprism of ebonic-influenced slang both visually and content wise). Greg Rucka has made this title a winner.

Punisher #37:
I laughed and laughed and laughed. Everything I used to love about Hitman was jam packed into this issue, where Frank celebrates his four year anniversary, back in Marvel's NYC. The back-and-forth with Daredevil, the brilliance in controlling the Hulk, the goofiness of Wolverine, the confusion of Spider-Man ... all amazingly done, all very funny, all brilliant. I can't say enough good about this issue.

WildCATS 3.0 #17:
Agent Wax has been a bad boy, and now Jack Marlowe's confronting him about it. Sure, Wax's hypnotic, vocal command power is impressive -- he's convinced the whole National Park Service (not as innocent as it sounds) that he's Agent Downs (Agent Downs was his boss, and he's worked everybody right down to Downs' wife, who he really loves giving it to), but Jack is a teleporting super strong android CEO ... and it plays out in typical WildCATs 3.0 style, which is always difficult to predict, mad and entertaining. Another great issue in a long string of 'em, even though seeing Grifter wearing the body of a female killer cyborg (long story) is just plain disturbing. Oh well.

Grendel God & the Devil #10:
The end of Orion Assante as a politician and the beginning of Orion Assante as a warlord. Vampire smackdown on the streets. One mad lone Grendel, virtually unstoppable through his insanity. Wow. Matt Wagner finishes up this tale, set in the crevices between masterworks, with a bang. I never really got into the art, which seemed like a less-detailed and more rushed Darick Robertson, but I now see that it had a kind of appropriateness for the content, the dissolution of one world as it evolves (devolves?) into another. Good stuff, even if it's wholly insular and clear only to longtime fans.

Birds of Prey #62:
This is becoming the new Global Frequency, an entertaining book that's part confection and part brilliance. Gail Simone is at the top of her game, and Ed Benes is simply a visual master. The interplay between Lady Shiva and Black Canary, meeting as an old sensei succumbs to cancer, is terribly well done. Another gem.

Queen & Country #22:
The political intrigues outstrip the spy action, but it's in a West Wing kind of way as rival factions struggle for control over the SIS, Britain's spy shop. Tara Chace gets her femme fatale on and everybody's harried and frayed. Rucka (again) masterfully plays major characters against minors, weaves guests in ... he's better than most TV writers. Fine work with crisp artwork (some of my favorite in a while) by Mike Hawthorne.

Vertical:
If you asked me why this issue made the jump from the read pile, I couldn't tell you. Standing there, paying for it, it confounded me. I started reading it, finding Allred's pseudo-Blue Monday mod visuals strangely enticing, I got to a bit where the male protagonist Brando meets the female Zilly, and it was just so damned charming and ... I cringe at saying "innocent," but it had none of the loathing and baggage that meeting anyone, anywhere, for anybody has these days. Sure, both characters are flawed, have mad issues and probably won't work in the long term. But between Seagle and Allred, this glorious energy -- before AIDS, before a high divorce rate, before Blind Date or even Love Connection -- it's just really nice. I mean at five bucks, it's a pricey high for a tolerable conversation piece, but I'm not mad at my purchase of it, even if I'm at a loss to explain my enjoyment of it.

Buy Pile Breakdown: The last week of the year hits the ball out of the park, with six great and solid books and a surprise addition.

Then there's the stuff on the "read pile" that I don't bring home ...

X-Treme X-Men #38:
Marvel's site, in a spate of drunken confusion, listed #37 as coming out today, so for kicks I read both. I wish I hadn't. Storm is in some "fight club" styled Arena games system in Asia, hanging with Yukio (Wolvie's girl? Isn't she dead?) and fighting for reasons I can barely understand. Strong Guy shows up in an embarrassing caricature of himself, as does one of Storm's oldest punching bags (it's a Claremont book, so "old" is what it's about I suppose), and between the hackneyed dialogue, the overblown exposition, the slipshod coloring (Storm and Yukio were almost the same shade in a number of panels, and what's with that new haircut?), I was appalled that people spend money on this kind of drek. Yowza. I stick my head out of a hole to check the X-universe proper, and this is what I get? Ick.

Losers #7:
In "Downtime," the team "relaxes" after their big showdown in the first story arc, and it's quite entertaining. They still deal with the fallout of their "deaths" and the conspiracy against them, with varying degrees of success. There's a good mix of character action here, and each one has a distinctive voice (even if they all seem to have maybe one facial expression, Pooch maybe showed three) whereas the individual members were hidden behind plot and dark coloring in earlier issues. A good step in the right direction.

Uncanny X-Men #436:
So I see "trial of Juggernaut," as though Cain Marko is gonna be forced to deal with all the breaking of things he's done over the years (I vaguely remember an issue of ... god help me ... Thunderstrike where he paid somebody for some stuff he broke), so I checked it out, as well as reading the prior issue to try and keep up. She-Hulk is on hand, doing her thing (which is both enjoyable and embarrassing for her as a character -- minor spoiler, is there anyone she hasn't slept with?) as the team kind of plays a background to Cain's navel-gazing and blind fury. Oh, and Rhino gets his ass kicked. Oh, and there's a new Juggernaut for maybe twenty, thirty minutes. This work was, and I suppose I have to be crystal clear, awful. Man. I can't believe people read this stuff, on purpose, after paying for it.

El Cazador #4:
I think seeing Pirates of the Carribean finally made me appreciate this title more, as it answered one of my oldest questions about maritime warfare (woo hoo!) and managed some good action, although most of the crew is peopled with anonymous figures. Not too shabby ...

Legion #28:
I've decided to start calling this storyline the "Ultimate Great Darkness Saga," as nobody on the team was in continuity when the last one happened (I need a drink), and (no real surprise here) two, count 'em, two Darkseids show up at the end for reasons I can only guess at. There's a lot of fuzzy science and a lot of zany things going on, and it's a convoluted as some complain the old LSH was, with none of its pep. Blah. I can't believe I bought issue #25 because I got a little stirring in my heart, seeing Superboy in classic costume. Dammit!

The Path #21:
Boon Sai Hong from Way of the Rat shows up for a crossover and ... well, he has a bad experience. Entertaining, but the art seemed ... if not rushed, wrong somehow.

Superman #200
When I got done with this issue, Adam (who I only refer to with little girl's names) asked me how it was. I had my back to him, so I took the issue, placed it on my ass, and started rubbing it around while winding my butt in circles. He claims I've done him permanent damage. Anyhoo, the whole Futuresmiths story disappears with the resonance of Bobby Ewing stepping out of the shower with a big smile (if you're too young to remember that, well ... god help you). Luckily, I think we're done with Cir-el, who I hated. There were some cool ideas -- I liked the "Bat-Mech," Luthor was zany -- and the guest artists shone powerfully (Gene Ha has my favorite pages, destoying Gotham city), but it was still ass.

Star Wars Empire #15:
An issue about Biggs Darlighter. Dammit, didn't I tell them I don't wanna see this? I actually bought the last issue, with Vader. Argh.

Masks: Too Hot For TV:
Mix every cliche from live action cop shows with half of the cliches from the superhero world. It was cute, but I wouldn't buy it.

Silver Surfer #4:
There's a plan afoot here. It's still largely inscrutable, but the supporting characters were almost interesting. For a few panels.

JLA #91:
Denny O'Neil writing JLA? Mercy! Oh ... it reads like a book from 1989, overblown exposition and all. Blah.

Read Pile Roundup: Some major clunkers made this otherwise mediocre week turn ugly.

Since it's both the last set of reviews of 2003 and a phenomenal week for the buy pile proper, we're gonna call the week a bit better than a draw. Even Superman and that X-Men crap can't ruin it for me.