It's been a long time ... I shouldn't have left you ...

Every week I go to the comic book store (Comics Ink in Culver City, CA, hey Steve and Jason!) and grab a lot of comics. I sort these into two piles -- the "buy" pile (things I intend to spend money on, most often a small pile) and the "read" pile (often huge, including lots of stuff I don't actually like but wanna stay well informed about). In no particular order, here's some thoughts about all that.

Planetary #16:
When I picked this up off the shelf, I half expected Battle Chasers #12 or the final issue of Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do to be nearby. Creatures of myth, comics that nobody ever believed they would see. In the flesh.

For the record, the book makes perfect sense if you remember everything that happened in Planetary issues #1-15. If not ... well ...

Basically, the revitalized Elijah Snow, now intent to bring down The Four (imagine the Richards family with a mad on) aligns himself with Anna Hark, a mad kung fu industrialist determined to have a world for the sun to rise over every morning. This brings to play a metahuman of such ridiculous power and scope that I shudder to even think about him, now at the command of "the ghost of the twentieth century" and the aforementioned, very-long-lived Miss Hark. Confused? Who cares? This is a fun chapter for people who know the story, and a complete confusion for anybody who just picked up the likes of Planetary/Batman or any other of the one shots. I'm glad it's back.

Reign of the Zodiac #1:
I've been waiting for this one for a long time ... and honestly, it's a little bit of a letdown. That's through no fault of Coleen Doran's amazing pencil work (nicely spiced up from preview art I've seen with inks by Mister Bob Wiacek), which produced poster-worthy art on almost every single page. Truthfully, only half of the blame can be laid at the foot of yesterday's wunderkind Keith Giffen, who puts together a slow but ultimately informative bit of data here. The problem is one of scope -- there's simply so much story (some of which has been explained on news sites, some of which has come out at cons and in preview pages, etc.) that the entire first issue is like the opening scroll for a Star Wars movie. Yeah. Great. Cut to the chase, pal. Had this been merely the first few pages of a collection, I'd not have even noticed it as a blip. As something I spent $2.75 on, it's a bit more vexing. We'll see how it goes.

Transformers #5:
I've never been a fan of the "Optimus Prime Rocks" school of thinking, and the fact that a mere phone call from him can unify rival factions of rebel forces is characterization by shorthand. On the other hand, if I want characterization, I should probably go the Transformers: The War Within (and another volume of that is due, which pleases me). No, this is plot-driven Decepticon Smackdown, and in a lot of ways that's fine. Only Starscream -- almost electric in his Agent Smith-esque quest for chaos -- lights up the panels with anything resembling more than rote recitations of the conflicts of our childhoods. This penultimate issue, taking place completely on Cybertron, is fun, but I hope it doesn't lead to another letdown ending like the last volume of this high-selling mini.

G.I. Joe Frontline #13:
After two pulse pounding issues starring Chuckles (yeah, I said it, what?), Brandon Jerwa isn't able to keep it up in an issue that's long on action and short on anything actually happening. In an issue that could have been done in maybe ten pages, Cobra ends up on top ... for now. Another $2.95 issue is due next week, which (since I have three of the four), I'm almost stuck with buying, but I'm not as excited as I was. Issues #11-12 stand as a great thriller packed with action and plot, but I'm bored with this one.

Red #2:
If the plot of this -- CIA decides to kill its almost inhuman super killer, much hilarity ensues -- sounds familiar, it's because Robert Kirkman covered it in Brit just a few months ago. Warren Ellis has a more believable grip on the jargon and lingo, and with Cully Hamner manages some really interesting and crisp action scenes ... but ah, who cares really? "What do you do with an old/broken/bored/whiny/crying super soldier?" has been done to death, from Captain America kvetching to Mel Gibson's Conspiracy Theory. Something pretty zany better happen to keep me on board, because #2 just kind of treads water.

WildCATS 3.0 #13:
Year two kicks off with a slice and a bang, bringing back some bad ass babes from the past. If you don't remember Maxine Manchester's "date" with Mister Majestic, or the telltale markings of the Coda, well, it doesn't really matter. Sword-slingin' action and mad corporate shenanigans are still at work, as the (probably insane android) CEO Jack Marlowe continues his quest to better the world through consumer marketing. Admittedly, something bad is probably about to happen at the much-less-than-benign National Park Service, rush hour is about to be a whole new party in this corner of the Wildstorm "universe" (or is the idea of a unified continuity too twentieth century for us these days?), and I for one am glad to be along for the ride.

Empire #2
The most important cat that gets out of the bag here happens due to the bonds of loyalty and the spirit of positive reinforcement. I won't say exactly how the seeds of chaos got sown here, but in an issue that combines mad militaristic breaking of spirits with huge explosions, treachery most foul and taking it to the bridge, Mark Waid is delivering a comic almost as evil and unpredictable as Peter David's Captain Marvel. Another issue that keeps you chomping for at the bit for more ... more ...

Superman: Red Son #3:
In the last installment of Mark Millar's Elseworlds romp, there's such a gleeful and ingenious fanboy in joke that it actually made me smile wistfully. I won't ruin it for you, but the whole series has been everything Dark Knight Returns 2 should have been in terms of energy, madness and fun. Truthfully, I'm a little tired of people believing Braniac can be contained/repurposed (that didn't even work in the thirtieth century with Computo -- I swear people don't learn ...), but that tedious detail aside, I liked this series and despite the warts on Millar's writing (this is an older work, and in some ways it shows, it'd have been unparalleled genius at the time of its creation), it's still darned entertaining.

Noble Causes: Distant Relatives #1:
I don't know what I think of this particular (and admittedly fitting, given the "soapish" intent of the title) twist that Jay Faerber has introduced into the title, but it was good to read the characters again and the Krennick subplot simply fascinates my ass. Not really sure where I stand here.

Buy Pile Breakdown: I've had better weeks, given the amount of monet I spent.

Then there's the stuff on the "read pile" that I don't bring home ...

Thor: Vikings #1:
I feel like I lost a page of the script here. Thor gets his ass kicked, hard, by undead ancient Norsemen, who proceed to put Manhattan to the sword (I have a secret suspicion that the other boroughs are like Los Angeles south of the I-10 -- nothing in fantasy or sci-fi literature reaches them because almost nobody who writes this stuff has gone there). I'm fine with that. I just don't understand why. Given how I got screwed on the 5 part mini Blood & Water, this one is much more likely to stay on the Read Pile than get my money on the pamphlets.

Mystique #5:
My notes say, "good action, little content." That sounds about right.

Losers #3:
Hurt by difficult-to-distinguish artwork (only Aisha and the tech guy leave an impression on me), this issue is "okay." I had no real emotion for it, pro nor con.

Legion #23:
When your enemy is a galaxy spanning telepath, chances are the ending to the storyline will go all Bobby Ewing on you (anybody else remember Dallas? Oh never mind ...). My notes say "dumbass," and I still agree. I get the idea it's really, really hard to do the Legion right.

Batman #618:
After having every fanboy in the world (yours truly included) proclaiming Loeb was a sham with last issue's "reveal," there is some redemption. The details are in the devil (sic), so I won't disclose them but I kind of enjoyed this, despite it being dominated by fight scenes. It had some hard facts and a cute twist. We'll see how they finish up.

Sojourn #26:
Greg Land is an amazing talent. But I say that every month. With last issue's #1 twist on, well, almost everything, I really enjoyed (and somehow don't understand) a plot against Mordath, the title's prime antagonist. This is one of CrossGen's best books (despite many people claiming the whole line is milquetoast, something I used to believe as well), and I look forward to this title every month. God willing and the creeks don't rise ...

Wolverine #4:
My notes say, "detective mutant." Since I know Rucka is a short timer, I don't even know why I bother, as I haven't enjoyed his potboiler approach to Logan at all. I was promised pie!

Fantastic Four #503:
I could swear I've seen a storyline like this before. Not with as much pathos nor deftness in the writing, but I'd swear it's familiar. On the other hand, with Waid as a short timer, again, why bother caring? It'll all be washed away in a few months.

Flash #201:
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Geoff Johns has officially jumped the shark. Please move along, nothing to see here ...

JLA #85:
Nazis, and now another freaking Martian? I could scream. I love Kelly's dialogue and characterization on his JLA run, but his plots lack a lot by way of creative antagonists. Sheesh.

Thundercats: Dogs of War #3:
My notes merely say "dumbass." I get the feeling I may have gone for this had I seen it on the cartoon ... but I was much younger, and knew a lot less about story elements then. Blah.

Battle of the Planets #12:
Huh? Finale? What the hell? Mmm, the book has been drifting since #7 or so ... ah well.

Read Pile Roundup: I came off hiatus for this?

After moving, a veritable phalanx of dates and trips all over the southwest, I returned to reviewing, spent a bunch of cash, cut down what I say, and still ended up barely entertained. In the words of my Comicon 2003 report, "dammit!"