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This column is largely intended to be a commentary on Bill Jemas, who addressed an open letter to the editors of Newsarama Sunday morning.
Ah, yes...Jemas the "bad cop" (a role I'm familiar with). Jemas the huckster, who I called out in the June 21 installment of The Operative Word entitled "...Every Minute". I turn to different comics sites and hope against hope that someone is commenting on the real issues, the madness as it occurs, so that I won't have to tell the world that Jemas is bad, bad, bad news, despite the fact some of his ideas are valid. But here we are again...
 If indeed Jemas' message is, as he said, to have Marvel's credo be, "hyper creativity, high quality, low prices, high volume, no fear. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead," then that's fine. It's just increasingly difficult to believe that's the case.
If Jemas believes what he said about "the DC part—that's obvious too. DC really is the distinguished competition, and they are pretty good guys, and true believers in this medium...I wouldn't harm a hair on their little heads," then pull my car over and call me an African American, because there's a heap of data that makes that look fishy as well.
It would be easy to note the evidence that the "new" Marvel is not about high creativity, high quality, high volume and no fear. Palmiotti's Deadpool channeling the crumbs of Garth Ennis. Bob Weinberg losing Cable after he spearheaded the fan campaign to save the title. The fact that Frank Tieri is allowed to write anything at all. The list goes on and on, and much of it I've railed against before, so it's boring to rehash it. Look it up in the Spinner Rack archives or, better yet, look at some of the considerably well thought-out criticisms on Usenet.
I could also easily prove Jemas is no fan of DC, with his "invitation" to participate in the Marvel-headed retailer summit, announced in a glory-hogging manner which simultaneously capitalized on the attacks of 9/11 and made certain that Marvel product would be first in the eyes of retailers this fall. All that and more, on the next episode of Soap. Again, this is all well documented and easy to find, so there's no need to go into greater detail.
No, children, this is simply about Jemas engaging in the kind of crass and boorish corporate showmanship that bookmarked the '80s, with Iococca, Tartikoff and Trump becoming names as big as the brands they hawked. It's the kind of personal aggrandizement that one uses to boost asking prices in salary negotiations.
 It's tedious. It's sad. And it has become, to a large degree, the personality of Marvel as an organization, which is even worse.
I'm tired of ragging on Jemas and Quesada and Marvel. I really am. And if they would just go for a few months without doing anything that insults my intelligence (Fury #1) or that is deeply infused with ass-smell (Alias) or makes no sense business-wise (U.S. War Machine as an out-of-continuity exercise that'll be collected—for less than the cost of individual issues—the second the series is done) or that is just plain tacky (the "we'll publish the too-graphic-for-DC Authority issues!" gambit), I could probably only write six columns a year and be fine. But no, I had to stumble on Jemas buck dancing and vaudevilling so enthusiastically it made me gasp with amazement.
Bill, to clear up some of your misconceptions, here's why I hate your new Marvel: Not only have I been "betrayed by Marvel and by comics" (although some of it was Hasbro's fault for screwing up Hama on G.I. Joe, I can admit that now), not only have I been "hurt" and "pissed," but when I finally "couldn't resist opening my heart to that team who was showing their fans the beauty and glory" (as you say of some of the Yankees and I say of Black Panther, Thunderbolts, Defenders and Punisher), instead of fat contracts and glorious cross marketing to ensure these quality team members are steady in sales), I get ad after ad about crappy limited series (U.S. Agent could have stayed home and we all know that), pathetic one-offs (X-Men: Icons? What about "fewer X-Books?" Can you even get Morrison and Casey to get the books in on time?) and limited penetration outside the direct market. I hate your new Marvel because it stinks of desperation, it ignores the best it has to offer and it continually acts like it's the best thing since orgasms.
Strangely enough, that's a lot of what I hated about the OLD Marvel. Plus le change, plus le même chose.
So, this "closed letter" was intended to decry the administrative tapdancing from a frustrated writer (did you think I forgot you're threatening to actually WRITE something to foist onto the fans?) and to call Marvel out for what it is: the promiscuous girl in the tight dress trying desperately to be prom queen.
Hasn't the suffering gone on long enough? Put on some sweats, get a gym membership for your half-assed creative lethargy and shut the hell up.
ADDENDUM:
Just when you thought it was safe to cuss out Marvel, here comes Marc Alessi.
In the last few months, my respect for Alessi's work in the industry continues to grow and grow. Just as I flew off the handle at Bill Jemas' open letter (and really, what's with Jemas' haircut?), Alessi fired back in a similar fashion.
 CrossGen, in a time when it's very easy to talk trash (just look at me!), has taken the high road and done things in a manner that I can't help but respect. I'm not gonna pretend like I'm regularly shelling out dough for their stuff—only Scion seems to consistently keep my interest—but I will say their slow and cautious licensing approach (instead of, say, the excitement over Wu-Tang figures before that whole concept died out), their looks outside the direct market for distribution (or so they say) and their general seriousness about doing the work on time with some professionalism and fun.
(Taking a page from Rob Liefeld's book, let me clarify: Despite my current all-freelance status, I'm not looking for a job. Florida's weather is far too exciting for my tastes and things are looking up for me with my small press.)
Anyway, CrossGen smacks Jemas back with notes of tardiness and the issue of creator profit sharing (both places CrossGen has plenty of trash-talking room). Alessi clowns Marvel's "attitude" and the deleterious effects it has on fans, retailers and other industry entities. Finally, almost pro-wrestler style (yes, I'm still watching SmackDown), he offers to fly Jemas and Quesada to Orlando's Megacon for a tête-à-tête on stage (and maybe pay-per-view). Don't front like you wouldn't pay to see a handicap cage match between Jemas, Quesada and Alessi. The costumes alone would be worth a Jackson.
Is the industry fed up with the Jemas and Quesada smoke-and-mirrors show? Can Manglin' Marc Alessi lock them in the CrossGenerator and make them tap out? I'm staying tuned, because the drama behind the comic companies is considerably more entertaining than a lot of the books on the stands.
Hannibal Tabu is a Web producer, activist, writer and journalist who lives in South Los Angeles with his wife Yuri and his unholy legion of action figures. He doesn't care if Marvel ever lets him write anything there and tells you so all the time on his Web site, www.operative.net.
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