8/23/04 6:00 AM: "Fame is a vapor, popularity is an accident, and money has wings. The only thing that endures is character." -- Orenthal James Simpson

THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING: I've noticed myself being happy a lot more recently.

As I'm driving around, singing along to whatever's popping up on my iPod (which looks so swank in it's Xtremity case, hanging on a Belkin vent mount), and I literally find myself doubled over with laughter at some random thought that goes through my head, at least three times a week. I have no choice but to see this as a good thing. My stress-free life is really kicking in, and I just have a lot of good in my life right now. When people ask me how I am, my most common answer is, "I can't complain." I literally can't -- there's nothing I could logically complain about. I could use more money, and I want more money, but i don't need it. I could even use more time, but I don't need it, things get done as they get done and that's okay. It's really a remarkable time in my life, and one I am trying to relish as much as I can.

BOB COSTAS: Last Thursday, I was sitting at Mel's with my dawg Craig Sherman and watching the show. I was ostensibly trying to figure out of the built in mic on my long-in-the-tooth PowerBook could properly record performances at my co-worker Dana's show. A geeky girl (she sang "Rainbow Connection" in Kermit's voice, claiming, "I am a Muppet!") sat next to our pal Eliot, who's chronically unable to get girls. They chat for a while, and Craig and I observe.

"Five bucks says Eliot screws it up," I say to Craig. Craig is too smart to take that bet, but we keep observing. Soon, as she's getting ready to leave, Eliot comes over with a grin. "She asked me for my number," he said proudly. "I didn't even have to say anything."

Realizing the flaw in his logic, I said, "but you did get her number right?"

"She has mine," Eliot said, still trying to stay confident. Craig throws up his hands in disgust, and I said, "Look, that means you have no control whatsoever. Does that sound like a situation that in any way favors you?" I then turn to Craig and say, "Pay up, b*tch."

The idea that we were betting on Eliot screwing it up shamed him into action. He walks back over to her and said, "I've decided I should have your number after all." She shrugs and said, "okay," and wrote it down for him, simple as that. I don't feel bad about shaming him into activity, and technically that counts as an assist for me. 'Nuff said.

THE SPIRAL: So a big event is coming up between my chosen "family," the people associated with my rites of passage, and it's really showing the demarcation between the kind of people they have become (stable, relatively normal, mostly domestic) and the sort of person I have become (single, nocturnal, irregular, evil). it's hard for them to relate to or even be around me in some cases. "All you want at the thing is people you already like and some hoes!" my brother Inpu said by way of accusation. I said, "Duh!"

So that's interesting, that my life seems to be cycling me away from people I love again. It happened in the mid nineties, around the time I was graduating college and all. It's been about ten years, so maybe that's right. I never completely lost contact with people, but Daniel keeps saying, "We liked the Hannibal in 2001 a lot more than we like the Hannibal now." I responded, "The Hannibal in 2001 was wildly unhappy, hated almost every aspect of his life, and was pretending at domestic tranquility to save face. The Hannibal you know now has no desire to lie in that fashion."

Which segues nicely into his lovely wife Ana. I may have mentioned that I was very vaguely helping the Ruiz family work on their house (I did eventually get the DVD burner). I swung back by this past Thursday (I missed my haircut because my barber went to Seattle and didn't tell me, argh), and Ana turns to her daughter Xiomara and says, "Look, he came back -- I told you he was nice!"

Xio's a smart kid, but she doesn't really have the abstracting mechanisms necessary to grasp my personality. I decided against explaining this to Ana (especially since I snagged some DVD-ROM media lying around their house, saving myself some cash in the process), because she'd probably be uncomfortable with the idea that I'd sacrifice Xio, Ana and Daniel if the benefit were sufficient enough, or the cost too high to save them. That kind of talk makes people nervous to be around me, but it's the way I think. Daniel, who knows this all too well, finds it entertaining to engineer ways for me to talk to Ana about this and go around the mulberry bush. We all need something to keep us going.

YOU MAY BE RIGHT: So I had my "fan" Chinedum read my short story "Proud Military Wife and he calls me a closet optimist. This somewhat interests/concerns me, but I consider it impossible.

Then, this morning, I have a dream where I come up with another short story called "bound by tragedy" about a new director for the Natural History Museum in Exposition Park, who meets and is attracted to a TV executive, but both are married, waiting for spouses to show up on the Super Shuttle. The shuttle, howvever, is hijacked by two high teens, who drive it off the 105 and kill everybody inside. A character very much like me (the Controller from my theoretical "Operative" comic book, and many other things) is there, and just plays a very peripheral role, commentating (as I love to do). The two end up in love, helping each other get over their loss and finding new happiness together. Which the Operative story, of course, would ultimately make irrelevant (I've already said too much), but I can still see how some people would consider that optimistic.

Argh! That's not what I am! If I show people hoping in the face of certain doom, my intention is to prove that they're stupid, but people see a hope in me when I do. Mmm. Maybe they're just projecting ...

FOR THE RECORD: So my wildly profitable co-worker Dana works for a guy named Tony, and Tony records people singing karaoke. Quite well -- better than the place I was at in San Diego. Even better, he doesn't charge -- "gratuities" are welcome but not demanded. So last Tuesday I ditched work and went down to San Pedro and recorded eight songs (seven of which I can tolerate ... the first one was before I was warmed up, and it shows). Through the magic of Yahoo's Briefcase, I am pleased to offer these songs to you, my adoring fans, as MP3s.

Look grateful.

They sound really good in my car, and okay on my home stereo -- your mileage may vary.

GETTING UP FOR THE GAME: So I am filling in for another co-worker named Laura for two Thursdays (and possibly more, if I'm hearing right) at San Gennaro Cafe in Culver City. The first hour, I play DJ for my boss Pete as he cycles through Sinatra songs. He adores doing this, and the fact he gets money for it tickles him so much it often makes him dance on stage. He's really a man who enjoys singing, and it's kind of a joy to be around him as his other business senses are not always so acute (as far as the karaoke business goes anyway). After that, there's "open karaoke" until the restaurant staff gets bored and wants to go home, which, in this case, was 10:30 PM. I was there two hours, didn't have to set up or break down any of the equipment, and got paid the same as I would for a full shift at Mel's. It's easy money, and I would be very happy doing it more often.

My attempts at recording Mel's were wildly ineffective -- the ambient noise, especially on a Friday night, is just too much to overcome, even by sitting my PowerBook directly next to the monitor speaker. I did see that I may have a solution to my need to buy a $150 USB pre-amp, when Griffin Technologies announced that they'd just released an XLR-to-1/8" mic cable to go with their very successful (but I was told unworkable) iMic product. I shrugged -- this didn't solve the pre-amp issue, until I read along and their page says, "The Griffin iMic USB Audio Interface has a built in preamp, and is an effective and inexpensive way to connect a microphone to a computer and incorporates the computer standard stereo mini jack input."

Well, hello nurse!

Two different Apple Store employees told me I needed to get the M-Audio MobilPre, a $150 product that's impressive but possibly more (both money wise and feature wise) than I'm interested in. Ifd I can get a $40 iMic, I have XLR-to-1/4" cables here, now, and I'm pretty sure I have a 1/4"-to-1/8" adapter here as well. Screw the Garageband-specific cable. I could be up and running for under $50?

So this week, armed with all the notes I could glean from the web, I'm gonna drive up to the Grove store and corner one of the retail wonks and demand a full breakdown of both. A Santa Monica Apple Store retail wonk swore to me that the iMic had no pre-amp, and since they're both powered by the bus (i.e. draw power from the computer) the difference could only be the mysterious "phantom power" switch on the MobilPre, and if that doesn't make a noticeable difference in sound recording quality ... screw it. I'm not hooking up loudspeakers here. Input is all I care about. So, while making a trip to get my fedoras cleaned (Hollywood Hatters, baby, east of La Brea on Melrose), I'm gonna give some Apple Retail store employee an interesting day, and that'll make this week at Mel's very, very different.

I'm already trying to figure out which closet I'll clear out and make a recording booth. Mwahahahahahahaha!

I believe that'll do, for now.