NOTE: I don't use Roman numerals. My namesake swore eternal vengeance against the Romans, and I realized a few months ago that I can't use Roman numerals and claim his heritage, so there that all is. Some things can never be forgiven. So that explains any weirdness in titling below.

From sheet sets (I still have both pillow cases, decades later) to action figures to playsets, the world of Star Wars infiltrated mine. Lightsabers and cool metallic hallways and hairy creatures that spoke exclusively in growls became just as real to me as my skinny frame, my thick glasses, my then-oversized head.

My mother's family were negative people on a whole, people beaten down by life and working hard to instill one message in their descendants: "you can't do that." Every dream was too big, every aspiration too impossible. Of the three greatest gifts my mother gave me -- the other two being my life and getting me away from those people -- Star Wars has been the most obvious, from the quotes I toss off to the toy lightsaber in my trunk this very second. It was my gateway drug to Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica and a host of other science fiction considerations. Through the eyes of George Lucas, I came to believe that there was indeed a finer world, somewhere. A world I could grasp. A world I could call home.

Real life had some other lessons to teach, however. Like "popular opinion was often wrong," that "the masses of the people are fool-a$$ ignorant," and that altruism was a speedy road to certain doom for me. I was mocked, I was betrayed, I was abandoned, again and again. I found my solace in the fact that other people were a little short to be stormtroopers, were scoundrels, and could imagine quite a bit.

So yes, I am a Star Wars fan of the highest order. I've had lightsaber battles, dressed up in costume, in movie theatres (and never lost, coincidentally). I've skipped work to see the new films (and the re-releases). I have, at certain points, committed entire scenes to memory. I've held my breath as Darth Vader and white-skirted snow troopers marched through the Echo Base on Hoth more times than I can remember. I have no shame for these things, and they are certainly no secret.

Like many fans, I saw problems with Episode One: The Phantom Menace. On the other hand, I saw the devil in the details -- I saw Palpatine pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, leading to his virtually inevitable rise to power. I saw the shift in thinking in Attack of The Clones (a title I still dislike, even though I enjoyed the film more than most), where Palpatine decided he needed a smarter, more thorough apprentice (even knowing the risk to his own position as Sith Master). Finally, through Gungan swamps and clone factories on missing planets, we come to Revenge of the Sith, a movie that feels almost pre-ordained in virtually every frame.

The centerpiece of this is Hayden Christiansen, who finally grew into the role of Anakin Skywalker. In AOTC, I thought he was too lean, too weak, too ineffectual. Here -- through smarter wardrobe and some actual bulking up -- he's believable as a man who can cut down Jedi in droves. The seeds of his altered allegiance are made clear -- all the way back to Jake Lloyd, Anakin Skywalker has had a problem with the leadership of the Jedi and the ruling powers of a galaxy that could let a world like Tattooine happen, which led to so much suffering in his own life (I do think it's odd that, of all the worlds that Vader and the Empire brought "order" to, there was no standing imperial garrison on Tattooine, there was no campaign against the Hutts, but maybe Anakin just wanted to set that part of his life behind him). In the context of the work, I was able to "buy" this rebellious, rule-breaking, go-his-own-way-because-I'm-The-Chosen-One Anakin, and that helped everything else out.

"In this context" is an important phrase to remember. Many of the reviews I see make a lot of the wooden acting, the stilted dialogue, and the generally stiff emotional energy of many many of the actors. Truth be told, the first trilogy is rife with acting just as bad -- Mark Hamill had only one effective mood -- "whiny" (which makes his emergence as a great voiceover actor so hilarious), Carrie Fisher could only pull off "petulant" and so on. In spite of those things, the original trilogy (even Ewok-laden ROTJ) stands as an enduring franchise of beloved films. As you accept the idea that a man can fly in superhero tropes, you have to accept the context of these films and the "acting" that results from George's vision.

The first word that came to mind when I saw the film was "spectacle" -- almost every moment, from the quiet times of contemplation for Anakin to a huge battle of starships over Coruscant, is a bombardment of visual data and intricate detail. This film is exceptionally pretty, in every possible way, and nothing is left to chance. I remember one review wishing that Lucas had added some graininess to the digital effects, to make them fit in better with the live action shots, but that's the short sightedness of someone who sees it only in the theatre. As this film leaps off of HDTVs for generations to come, George's attention to detail will be appreciated. I already do -- the saber fights alone were worth the wait, as today's technology made them work so well.

I wasn't all happy -- everything after Palpatine found Anakin felt really rushed, like "aw crap, we've gotta get all the pieces in place for the next movie!" Everything from that point on could have been done four times more slowly, and that would have been perfect (especially since the actual rule of the Empire proper gets short shrift in almost every canonical and extracanonical avenue). How come I couldn't have heard Owen's conversation with Obi-Wan, especially warnings about "Jedi nonsense" and so on? To be honest, I'd have appreciated a peek at the then-teenaged Boba Fett, crafting himself into the legend he would become. I also, deep in the back of my mind, still think that kid from Once and Again would have made a more believable and imposing Anakin. Like many critics, I'd like to have seen more, on screen, of Anakin killing real Jedis of note and danger, not just padawans and younglings (the oldest Jedi I saw Anakin actually kill during the purge was a teenager, in a security holo, and I think he still had his padawan's braid). Admittedly, I suspect he hunted down some of the stragglers and exterminated them -- Quinlan Vos was mentioned by name, and he seems a bit tougher to kill, so I can see him requiring a personal touch, ditto on Adi Gallia or that conehead guy. But I don't know, and canon is vague on the point (Obi-Wan's hard sell to Luke notwithstanding). And of course the one biggest criticism of the prequels is true here -- like it or not, Harrison Ford's roguish charm carried the first three movies, and with Lucas editing Ewan McGregor within an inch of his life here, there's just nobody to take the weight of really carrying the films with their acting (which also adds to the problem of considerably harder-to-find quotables).

But overall, walking out of the theatre that Thursday evening, I was content. I was not angry, or let down, feeling disappointed at overcome expectations. I was likewise not ecstatic, overflowing with praise for the property and everything about it. Balance has been brought to the Force, and that's just kind of the way it is. A huge chapter of my life is pretty much over, and that's all right.

When Lucasfilm gets off their butts to make a definitive six-movie boxed set, I'll buy that, and sit through the whole shebang. And, honestly, probably set them all aside for a long time. Star Wars has dominated my life for most of my thirty two years, and like all things, it has come to an end (of sorts, rumors of a TV show notwithstanding -- I'll believe it when it's on BitTorrent). For me, it's time to let the Ewoks sing their little song, and say "so long, and thanks for all the clones."