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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Older 2010

I am selfish.

I am childish in a way that borders on embarrassing. I'm arrogant in areas where I have no right to feel superior, I'm weak when I need to be strong, I've been known to let go when I should hold on and vice versa. When I should be a soldier, I've stood on the sidelines and when I needed to stand down, I've been in the thick of the fight.

It's very rare when I know that something has gone "too far." I am beloved and betrayed by some of the most interesting people around. I've revealed things about people that they'd much rather never been known. My trust has found its way into the possession of many, many people who didn't deserve it. I've easily thrown out close to a hundred thousand dollars through making bad decisions. I've been many things -- villain, scapegoat, surprise philanderer, probable cuckold, patsy, scoundrel and fool -- that I never should have chosen to be.

Or, to speak in the words of Crossfade, "what I really meant to say is that I'm sorry for the way that I am ..."

However ...

I know how to build a website from the ground up. I can comfort a child or make dinner for four. I know how to drive with some rapidity, regardless of time of day, from Granada Hills to Rancho Palos Verdes on the streets, avoiding the freeways. I know all the words to "Wonderwall" and "As" and "The Scientist" and "Raspberry Beret" and "The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get."

I work hard. I'm probably a workaholic. At this very moment, I am simultaneously working on three novels and twenty or so poems, while keeping three sitcom pilots, four children's books, sixteen songs and a website design project that's at best overly ambitious (given how much time I have on my hands). I have two and a half jobs right now, after cutting down from my height of five.

I'm a husband, a father, an employee, a brother, a son, a writer, a fan, a critic, a journalist, a novelist, a poet and a friend.

I'm thirty seven years old today. I don't know a whole lot about a whole lot, but I know I'm still here, putting one foot in front of the other.

Happy birthday to me.

In that vein, here's the big announcement: I am retiring from social networking for 2010, Jay-Z/Jordan style.

Take a moment. Take it all in.

Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Plurk ... all those accounts of mine go dark for 365 consecutive days starting ... well, now. This may mean an uptick in blogging, and email's still going to be up and running, but I will not check nor respond to any social networking communications during the next year. No retweets, no notifications, no instant messaging (save for work), no GMail Talk -- no digital mingling of any kind.

Why? There are many reasons -- focusing more on real conversations and writing taking place in spaces longer than 140 characters, et cetera. Pretty much at the top of the list, I'd hope it goes without saying, would be this ...

That's what I'm talking about ...

Also, I feel like taking this time off and gaining some perspective will help make me a stronger keynote speaker for Blogworld 2012 (which should take place in LA, I should be taking the stage alongside Erick Sermon and get introduced by Jenny "The Bloggess" Lawson ... what, you thought I was kidding? That's still happening, so keep talking to people about it). So, in the words of my wife's "other husband" (I hate saying that), "I've been thinkin' I've got my reasons ..."

Shade and sweet water, travelers. Tabu out.

Playing (Music): "Nothin' On You" by B.O.B. featuring Bruno Mars


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