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Life: Hannibal’s Latest Fender Bender

Posted in 104, bad ideas, blame society, cars, children, driving, failure on October 12th, 2013 by Hannibal Tabu
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A little after noon, I was sitting in the westbound left turn lane on Pico at Alvarado in Los Angeles. I’d recently picked up my youngest daughter from her ballet school and was theoretically heading for a park. I’d just explained the concept of area codes to her and was talking on my headset to a business associate from Chicago.

As the light was turning red, a faded black Acura Legend tried to make the light, ignoring the fact that a gray Toyota Corolla had already begun its legal lefft turn to head east on Pico. The Acura collided into the Corolla at what seemed like quite a high velocity, and the Corolla slid, out of control, into the front left side of my car.

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My baby girl was too shocked to know how to react, bursting into tears thirty seconds after the impact. Her baby seat held her securely in place, and my seat belt did as well, even though my phone had been hurled to the dusty floor.

The driver of the Acura (let’s call him Beauregard) was a Mexican national. He didn’t speak English, but the early-twenties Latino driver of the Corolla (let’s call him Bob) was fluently bilingual. Beaurega admitted fault to everyone, and Bob was worried that his dad would be furious, calling his job and warning them that he couldn’t drive nor get to work and worried about attending his south bay college classes.

My wife drove by to pick up the shaken baby and I stayed to take photos and exchange data. Apparently, I was the only one of us who had ever been in an accident before. Two eyewitnesses came to me, offering to share their perspectives, everyone agreeing that my stationary sedan was wholly blameless in this midday fiasco.

I have sustained no injuries. My youngest may have bumped her chin on her seatbelt, but she was fine. Everyone was insured, so it’s all nuisance and paperwork now. Monday morning, I’ll take my car to Collision Consultants off La Cienega and Venice, and we’ll receive the fantastic service they’re well known to provide.

Yes, this is yet another traffic accident I had while completely still. If I’m moving, I’m virtually invulnerable, like a Black Sam Guthrie. As I’d say online, “#lesigh.”
This blog hopefully will answer any questions anyone has.

Playing (Music): “Can’t Hold Us” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

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Music: Hannibal Tabu DJs the Los Angeles County Fair During September

Posted in awesomeness, business, driving, music, narcissism, whimsy, work on September 10th, 2012 by Hannibal Tabu

During the month of September, I’ll be DJing the pre and post shows for grandstand concerts at the Los Angeles County Fair. I will likely not interact with the talent. I will not get you a free ticket. I will be working and not very chatty. I will rock the party that, likely, will rock your body, should you attend.

All shows take place at the Pomona Fairplex (I got lost on my way to Pomona once with my mom, ask me some time, funny story). I start rocking around 7:30 or 8 and will be done around midnight, at which time the fair closes and they will hurl you from the premises. Just kidding. Probably.

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In order, here’s the list of shows I’m doing …

I already did one “warm up” show (because I was rusty and didn’t feel confident, but it went pretty well) where I did a mostly 80s set for the B-52s. Super fun getting a chance to play “The Batter Ram” and two songs by LA’s Dream Team!

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I’m doing these shows in conjunction with YNotLive Entertainment, the company formerly known as Starlight Entertainment. I probably won’t be drunk. Right, then.

If you’re making the drive, be patient with the roads as they’re super crowded and stuff ain’t going anywhere. Leave early, be prepared for them to search your bags and have fun. I know I will!

Playing (Music): “Girls on Film” by Duran Duran

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Poetry: Rise & Grind

Posted in blame society, creativity, driving, life, napowrimo, poetry, ranting, society, superman, whimsy, writing on April 2nd, 2011 by Hannibal Tabu
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No preamble! Let’s make with the “biff” and the “pow!”

It’s easy for things to fly by
moving 45 miles per hour east on Pico
It’s 8:13 AM on a Tuesday morning
thirty minutes away from being due in twenty

Still, stop light forces me to glance around
noting a dreadlocked head
staring purposefully at MacBook Pro screen
one hand holding, one typing furiously
in shade of botanica,
Superman logo across gray sweatshirt covering thin chest.

What is he doing?
My phone’s signal sniffer
sees no wi-fi nearby.
Going at keyboard like it owes him money,
he could be in deepest cave or submarine
world around him no distraction

Maybe he’s penning the next great American novel.
Maybe a love lorn letter has him typing his digital heart out
or he’s railing against some great injustice
like inconsistent UI on iPad apps
or bombs over Tripoli.

I’ll never know.
Light turns green
Tuesday keeps on pushing me forward
but I’m not working on my novel,
not writing to my love,
nor speaking truth to power.
Packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes
contestants in a suicidal race,
I’m off to work.
Have to find my own intensity there.

“Tuesday Morning Commute”
By Hannibal Tabu

The events that inspired this actually happened way before Libya set it off like Vivica Fox, but still.

Playing (Music): “Who’s Your Daddy?” by Mook-n-Fair feat. DJ Webstar

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