As I’ve mentioned before, Diamond Comics Distributors is a vile, heartless monopoly that’s likely squeezing the life out of the industry. According to the evidence I have on hand, when there’s a Monday holiday, they say “screw you, we’re gonna sleep off the hangover,” and ship comics a day later than normal, on Thursday.

This used to be a problem for me on the basis of money — I hosted a Thursday night karaoke show that bordered on being legendary (and it did help the bar win the title of “Best Bar in the South Bay” for 2009 from the Daily Breeze) and I simply could not go to the comics shop for three or so hours on a Thursday night, let alone write and do production for my Buy Pile comics review column (yeah, normally I place the images and what not too) and “rock the party and say turn your body out.” I hosted a show on Friday too, so I couldn’t even get to my favorite comics shop until Saturday.

Now, it’s a less stringent but equally challenging reason. As a father of two, my newborn needs care into the night and my six-year-old needs my presence at home. Saturday is an “off day” from my day gig at MIMCO (long story) and I can find the time to do some of the stuff during the weekend rush.

All that to say that The Buy Pile will not publish Thursday, but likely over the weekend or maybe even on Monday, thanks to Diamond. We all have lives to lead, and one thing leads to another, apologies to The Fixx.

To tide you over, here’s two comics related things I noted …

- I am enjoying Christos Gage’s work on Avengers Academy and have liked some of his work in the past, but he is blatantly wrong about something. He tweeted, “… if you illegally download a comic, especially a low or mid seller, you are voting for it to END.”

I think that’s crap. I don’t download comics — not due to any overwhelming ideological opposition to the practice, but because I don’t have time and haven’t researched how to do it — but I have a very different perspective on comic books, since I read a lot of them. A low or mid-selling comic book isn’t penetrating its core demographic — mainly white males between the ages of 24-39 who have disposable income. I’m an outlier there, in terms of ethnicity at least, but still. I come from the world of journalism, where many say, “it’s all good publicity as long as they spell your name right.” Gaining more mindshare in any way you can is not a bad thing.

Moreover, and I speak as a fan long before I perfected this as a method of reviewing comics, it’s no different from the practice some call Byrne-stealing (which is also fair, as I do it in Borders with novels or listen to songs in the iTunes store or at a Barnes & Nobles). It’s window shopping. If your income is based on people buying things sight unseen (*cough*shrink wrapped issues of Wizard*cough*), you’re likely in more trouble than you can handle. That’s more an issue of marketing and creative choices than of crime and punishment. Step your game up. Piracy has always existed and … hang on, actually that leads to my next point.

- When I read about Mark Waid’s speech and dust up, I wrote about it on my mobile exclusive blog and honestly, I agree. It’s about offering options, not complaints. Sure, there’s people “stealing” — how do you work around it? Totally on Waid’s side here.

That’s all for now. In any case, thanks for checking for me, and make sure you keep your eye on the linkroll for the column and its attendant commentary track.

Playing (Music): “Let It Whip” by the Dazz Band

… you’re one of the “syndicated” readers I have who are (know it or not) experiencing the wonder of RSS during my yearlong sabbatical from social networking. Despite the fact that you are on Facebook (or wherever else, but that’s the one that leaps to mind), I am not. I left an automatic setting to seed my random rantings there from my actual blog, where I broadcast unabated. I’m in your living room/phone/cubicle without ever leaving wherever I am. Cool.

That said, I am also aware of conversations happening around these writings, conversations that I am not taking a part in. Why? Well, as you could find out easily if Ping.fm’s shortcut URLs lasted longer than Lindsay Lohan’s sobriety, I’m still in my year-long self-imposed exile from social networking and, to be honest, I’ve learned some things.

• I miss Twitter. A lot. I’ve come to get a gang of news from the 126 subscriptions in my Google Reader feed (which feeds my linkroll on the web and on my mobile site) but the immediacy of Twitter, the pithy interactions with my people like Ja Bir or my wife or Craig or Ritch or Encyclopedia Black or Chinedum even Tax Hitler (also known as “Senor Sidekick”) … I won’t lie, I miss it.
• I don’t miss Facebook. At all. Facebook’s mobile site went through more alterations than Heidi Montag (yes, I’m keeping up with even celebrity gossip … kind of ), taking away the most useful functionality points (remember press “4″ for new notifications?) while becoming more of a beyotch about privacy and generally annoying me even without my presence. Moreover, I’ve seen and participated in some of the dumbest conversations (Roman Polanski leaps to mind) on Facebook, stuff that I’d have been embarrassed to be seen in were it Usenet or some more civilized locale. I won’t abandon the site when I come back, but it won’t be my “home” online.
• Laugh if you want … I kind of miss MySpace. The same people were closer, had less fleeting interactions, had less privacy worries while having more of a public platform. I’m just saying.
• I don’t need to have a conversation on LinkedIn unless it’s about money. I love that.
• No, I don’t miss Friendster or wish I’d have enhanced myself on Bebo, Hi5 or anywhere else “ghetto” like that.

More lessons learned when I get back, I’d wager. I just wanted to apologize if you’re trying to interact with me and it seems like I’m ignoring you. I’m not really there, you see. I’m just a pigment of your emancipation. Or a fragment of your intoxication. Something like that. Work it out for yourself, I’ll be back in four more months to discuss it.

Playing (Music): “Dynamite” remix by Taio Cruz feat. Jennifer Lopez

I work with this guy Jere Krischel and he’s completely bonkers. To be fair, so am I, but whatever.

It’s funny — we both went to the same college the same years and never met once. We have wildly disparate viewpoints (he’s a virulently right wing libertarian gun nut anti-carb anti-Hawaiian-sovereignty kook, whereas I’m a relentlessly indifferent nihilistic pan-Afrakan jackass content creation and production machine) but we’re the best of friends, bonding over the work of George Lucas, our relentless ability to produce, several conservative areas of common ground for different reasons (hating the IRS, strict interpretations of the Constitution, et cetera) and a sense of connection on a really basic man level.

Anyway, we have lots of wacky instant messaging chats (I blogged about one a while back), sort of like the ones I used to enjoy with my dawg Craig, and here’s one of them, discussing our disgust at recent ideological attacks on the 14th Amendment …

HT: This sort of thing is why the right wing is the target of such hatred.
JK: yeah, it’s weak – we should be opening up the borders and annexing more states
JK: I still don’t know why we don’t just make Iraq the 51st state
HT: Annexation! I like it!
HT: You mean 52nd.
JK: Exactly
HT: So Canadia can quit pretending to speak French and being a country of its own just to dodge taxes.
JK: Canada will just be a county of Minnesota.
JK: No need for statehood there
HT: Exactly
HT: as it always was
HT: then, heck, Puerto Rico can easily fit at 53
HT: American Samoa, maybe even the Phillipines for 54 and 55 on the way to a nice even 100.
HT: Then, after weapon-wielding religious fanatics attack the president and call him evil, he can reluctantly set aside democracy and declare himself emperor, for the good of the people and the safety of humanity.
HT: *Hannibal nods to himself, he must be right*
JK: I figure the only one we don’t get is France
HT: The only one people don’t *want* is France
HT: Who wants state offices smelling like cheese?
HT: drinking wine at lunch and surrendering to every stiff breeze that blows their way?
JK:

About an hour later, after I had time to read more of the article, we got going again …

HT: Hang on. Wait. Stop everything.
HT: “They claim it is why Congress included the phrase ’subject to the jurisdiction thereof’ in the citizenship clause. Immigrants today must conform to the laws of the U.S. to be subject to its jurisdiction, they argue, and therefore a person who’s in the country without papers cannot meet this condition and their children cannot claim citizenship by birthright.”
HT: So … people who are not citizens … are not under the jurisdiction of US law? Or are they saying “conformance to the laws” is a voluntary thing?
JK: Well, you can parse through legalese and come to just about any conclusion
HT: That’s just the thing
JK: People who are illegally present could be seen as “extra-jurisdictional,” but that would probably have to be litigated
HT: If they’re saying that … anybody who can get here can then do anything with only deportation as a punishment.
HT: Shoot people, park on top of handicapped old women … anything …
JK: Well, you could also declare them an enemy of the state
HT: Oh. That.
HT: Right.
HT: My rendition thing again.
HT: STILL!
JK: I don’t think their argument holds weight, of course, because you can be imprisoned regardless of your immigration status – if you’re making the argument that you lack specific rights because you’re not a citizen, that’s a whole different thing though
JK: it does make sense that illegal immigrants don’t have the same rights as citizens, but to say that they’re not under our jurisdiction is facile
HT: That’s my point. If they’re willing to concede this, then they *can’t* imprison people regardless of citizenship. They can deport. Period/
JK: Or execute
HT: If they cede the rule of law, they cede the damned rule of law.
HT: Well, that assumes that the home country won’t be mad.
HT: But if the country in and of itself is a challenging regime full of political power — say, China — well, their citizens could get away with almost anything.
JK: I think the real problem here is that we apply pressure to the wrong joint – simply make companies legally liable for all legal fees incurred by any illegals they hire
HT: Ah, go for the deep pockets.
JK: Force them to pay for the citizenship process for every illegal found in their emply
JK: employ
HT: No law with that in mind could ever pass, thanks to lobbyists.
HT: It’s totally the right solution, though.
JK: Which is the odd schizophrenia of the American people
HT: By “odd schizophrenia” you mean “docility under occupation by armed forces.”
JK: But there is one other point – if we limited government to its proper role, illegal immigration wouldn’t be an issue
HT: … why?
JK: if there are no government handouts and welfare programs, then nobody can complain if an illegal is here
HT: Well, I like mad max as much as anybody, but a lot of people around us are not ready for the kind of social darwinism that would be likely to engender.
HT: and now I think about it, I retroactively hate Mad Max.
JK: It wouldn’t be nearly as bad as it seems – the welfare state is the textbook definition of oppression
HT: “We’re given rations on the first and fifteenth/ just so I won’t be out organizin’ in the streets” — Boots from The Coup, “I Know You”
JK: amen
JK: Fact is, if you want to come here and work, and add to society, nobody has any complaints
JK: It is only the jealous guarding of freeloaders that makes it an issue
JK: The only thing you’d get to “enjoy” if government was in its proper place was appropriate law enforcement and protection
HT: the problem with that (well, I don’t think it’s a problem, but you might like the idea of roving armed gangs staying out of your nice neighborhood at night) is that without the welfare state, there’s nothing to stop literally millions of people with poor decison making skills and firearms from running amok.
JK: Which may very well be a reason for illegal immigration, given some of the countries these people come from
HT: No welfare, Nickerson Gardens becomes an armed camp.
JK: Bullets are cheap
HT: This isn’t the Boer War anymore. Weapons are common.
JK: Still, there’s enough of a cultural factor here that I think would come into play to mitigate that
HT: I can’t imagine what
JK: The reason why armed camps spring up elsewhere in the world is that corruption is so prevalent in the government, armed resistance becomes rational
HT: … uh … yeah.
HT: What are we not agreeing on there?
JK: In the US, removing the welfare system wouldn’t drive an armed rebellion the same way that might occur in other countries
HT: Not rebellion, no.
HT: Just anarchy.
HT: Roving bands of marauders
HT: Rebellion has a plan.
JK: Well, I’m not exactly for increasing the size of our prison population, but if what you say is true, essentially we’d have a small spike in enforcement, and settle back down to normal
HT: a “small” spike?
JK: Anarchy can be handled, if you’ve got billions of social security dollars
JK: well, okay, a “short but very large spike”
JK: I suppose we could skip a step too … just offer prison to those who want to remain on welfare
JK: 10×10 room, 3 squares a day
JK: conjugal visits would be a sticking point though
HT: Anarchy can be handled if you have the troops on hand, and not scattered across three or four continents in the name of empire and adventurism
HT: Moreover, we can’t imprison the people legitimately convicted of crimes now and can’t afford to build more.
HT: and your estimate of how long the anarchy of that kind of no-options poverty would last, with guns available and vehicles easy to commandeer, is disturbingly optimistic.
JK: I wonder how well that would work — in order to keep your welfare benefits, you’ve got to spend an increasing amount of days in prison on a regular basis – give them two years free, then insist they spend a day a month, increasing every month, until they’re full time inmates
HT: With the entire california national guard and the police forces of two whole counties, the 92 uprisings lasted days, and they weren’t even really mad about very much.
JK: Exactly, just days
JK: You might have to roll it out a bit at a time to pace yourself, of course
JK: But let me tell you, seeing a welfare family with a playstation bugs the crap out of me.
HT: Without a reason it lasted almost a week. People with homes and stuff to go back to and regular lives went amok for a week over something that had no direct impact on their lives.
HT: You don’t see how long they could go, and how many more, if the intoxicated lifestyles that keep them docile suddenly went away?
JK: And don’t even get me started on the regressive nature of alcohol and tobacco taxes
HT: that’s a whole other thing
HT: and consumerist policies aim towards low income people, so blame sony as much as anyone else
JK: At some point, we have to let people fail. It may be ungraceful, they may have to live under very very limited means, but we just need to let it happen
JK: The alternative trajectory ends up in the same place with more prisons, but doesn’t have an exit strategy
HT: well, you’re geared up for the war that will end the deluded American experiment, may as well pull the trigger.
JK: so, do you want the spike right now, deal with the problem, then live happily ever after, or do we drag ourselves down slowly over the course of a generation?
HT: I’m on both sides, so it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other to me
HT: Apocalypse now or later, it’s the same nihilism
JK: Frankly, if giving up the welfare state meant an increase of immigration to displace those people that would cause problems, I’d simply open up the doors
JK: I’m sure you could hire a bunch of peace loving somalis to keep the peace in return for 3 squares a day, and the biggest bull in Compton wouldn’t stand up to them.
JK: Take people from a real shithole in this world, and they’ll appreciate things, and work harder than you can imagine to preserve the peace
HT: Let me help you out here. Poor people, in every country in the world, have only been kept from open revolt by pacifying them as you would a baby — with alcohol, cable TV, playstations, drugs, whatever.
HT: A good chunk of how that pacification gets to them is through whatever cash they can legally get.
JK: Oooh, forgot one — religion.
HT: Take away a huge chunk of that cash, they sober up and realize they’re completely screwed, but still have access to weaponry.
HT: Every point in history where that happens, the country falls.
JK: And then you’ve got two options – either they learn the lesson they’ve been taught, and become enlightened and free, or they copy the corruption of those they replace
JK: Bastiat talked about this in his book The Law
JK: “legal plunder” is what he called it
HT: If you’re ready to sign away the United States to kill “the welfare state,” go ahead.
HT: What happens after the blood is all just sophistry to me, foreplay for the next go round
JK:

Yup, this is my life …

Playing (Music): “Tightrope” Wondamix by Janelle Monae feat. B.O.B. and Lupe Fiasco